Nora Curtis
by ninaelis
Summary: Sodas twinsister is trying to cope with the fact that Johnny and Dally are gone, in doing so she makes an unexpected new friend, but what will the gang think of her relationship with him when they find out it's Tim Shepard? Complete
1. Default Chapter

I was lying in the lot thinking about all the things that had happened the past months. In my head pictures kept tumbling round, pictures of those who were gone now. Johnny as he sat on our sofa smoking and laughing, Johnny in that hospital bed dying. From there my thoughts went to Dallas, tough uncaring Dally who never loved anyone, who couldn't love. But that was so wrong, he did love, he loved Johnny, so much that he died for him.

As I looked up at the blue spring sky I remembered clearly the light blue colour of Dallys icy eyes. He was so young, the same age as me, but he had seen so much more than me, been through so much more. He was cold and wicked, but he was my friend, and I liked him, even though I'm not to sure that he liked me that much. We had been around each other for most of our teenage life though and we respected each other.

Dallas eyes never smiled and danced like Soda's or grew serious and thoughtful like Pony's or even angry like Steve's, his eyes were always just cold. There were so many kids eyes I had seen like that, greasers and socs alike. I came to think about the Shepard boys, they were cold and grim like Dally, more hoods than greasers. I could see them in my mind, there black shiny hair and hard black eyes. Why didn't anybody care that there eyes were so cold, why didn't anybody care that they probably would die in jail within a couple of years.

As the clouds moved over the sky I laid there thinking of how our lives had changed with the death of Dally and Johnny. My brothers all tried to be normal and go about their regular routine. Soda and Darry did it for Pony's sake and Pony did it not to worry the rest of us. I did it to, at home I was normal, I talked with my brothers, helped Pony with his homework and did the dishes. But I was often by my self now, I never talked with my friends anymore, except for Steve and Two bit, I felt like all I really needed was time to my self to try and work trough my grief alone. I knew my brothers did the same in their own way.

When the sun began to set and I started to get cold I got up and began walking aimlessly around the east side until I ended up at the Dingo.

I sat down at an empty table still deep in thoughts. I had probably been sitting there for a while when I heard some guys come in walking to the table next to mine, I looked up at them noticing it was Tim Shepard and company. He didn't notice me so I began studying the tablecloth once again.

This really wasn't a good day, today more then ever did I miss them, I would have given anything to have Johnny and Dally sitting here with me, smoking and harassing the waitresses. Then it hit me, Tim and Dally were somewhat friends to, he must miss him to, as much as a hardened hood could miss another hood. I looked over to his table to see him saying something to one of the guys who were with him. His face looked like it was cut in stone, every line sharp, his eyes cold and piercing. The other guy laughed and nodded at what he'd said. He must have noticed me looking at him because he turned around, his eyes searching mine, but I quickly lowered mine to the table again.

"Hey Curtis."

I looked up to see Shepard standing there, I didn't say anything just nodded at him. He must have taken that as an invite because he sat down across from me. I could feel his eyes on me but I didn't want to meet them, frankly he scared me, he had always scared me a little. I don't know weather it was his looks, his eyes and that long scar that ran down the left side of his face or if it was the way he was talking and acting.

"You ok Curtis?"

I nodded and looked up at his face, he was smirking a tiny bit, just a curve on the corner of his mouth, but his eyes weren't, they were emotionless and looked at me with their piercing stare. I just nodded again and was just about to lower my eyes again when I saw that his eyes weren't black, they were a dark shade of blue. Strange, I was sure his eyes were black, I have seen him enough times to know the colour of his eyes. Goes to show how little I knew about the people I grew up around.

"Your brothers coming to pick you up?" He asked and smiled at me, a wide grin that showed of his straight white teeth. I couldn't help but smile back as I shook my head no, that smile reminded me of Soda. I had never seen Shepard smile before, come to think of it he had usually been angry every time I had seen him around my brothers or friends.

"Well," he said getting up, "I will be sitting over there, just tell me when you want to go and I'll drive you home". He went over to his friends and I sank down in thoughts once more.

A couple of hours probably went by with me sitting there thinking and ripping a napkin into shreds before I noticed the diner was quiet. I looked around me to see Shepard sitting alone at his table looking at me, he smiled a brief smile and got up.

He stood leaning over me like a tall, dark tower, and I couldn't help but feel kind of scared of him, he really looked intimidating. He must have noticed my reaction because he took a step backwards to give me more space.

"Come on I'll drive you home now," he said and started walking to the door. Suddenly I got really scared that he would just leave me there so I got up and followed him to his car.


	2. Shepards car

Shepard was driving like a maniac through the streets of Tulsa with me sitting beside him leaning my head against the window. I didn't mind the speed, I often went with Soda and the others to drag races, sometimes I even raced myself.

Shepard reached over and put the radio on, he switched past the rock cannels and to my surprise he turned up the volume at a slow ballad and started to hum along.

He continued driving while singing along with the radio, his voice was really nice, dark and soothing. I looked over at him to see his profile, he was kind of handsome in his own way. His features classic but sharpened and hardened, his cheekbones high and his nose straight. He reminded me of an old greek statue I had seen at the museum once. His skin was some shades darker then mine but still not as dark as Johnny's had been, come to think of it all the Shepard's looked kind of tanned with black wavy hair. Perhaps their parents were Mexican or something.

The car stopped suddenly and as I looked out the window I saw our house. Shepard left the motor running and turned to me.

"I don't think I will follow you in, don't want Darrel to kill you for being with me", he said flashing me that wide wolf like grin.

I nodded and got out of the car, I saw him starting to turn from me to drive away, and I panicked thinking I had to say something to him so I called out to him.

"Tim!" He turned around again waiting for me to talk, "I…thanks for the ride", that was all I could think of to say, and he just waved to me and drove away.

As I walked in the house I noticed it was all silent, must be pretty late I thought and Darry and Soda had work tomorrow, Pony and me had school.

"Where the hell have you been Nora? Do you know what time it is?" Darry who had been sitting in an armchair hidden in the shadows of our living room, came at me yelling.

"Sorry Darry I forgot the time", I said and walked past him to my room. Of course he followed me and stood leaning against my doorframe looking pissed.

"Where were you?"He asked crossing his arms over his chest.

"The Dingo", I said simply not really wanting to meet his eyes, he was really pissed at me, and I didn't like it, me and Darry have always been great friends, he used to trust me. Doesn't seem like he trusts me now though.

"With who?" He fixed his eyes on my back as I started to take the cover of my bed.

"No one", I said suddenly tired of everything.

Unfortunately that only made Darry angrier, he looked like he was going to explode.

"You mean to tell me you walked home from the Dingo all alone at 1.30 in the morning?" He screamed, "I knew your brothers could do something like that but you were always smarter then that!" He took a breath and was about to continue when I turned around at him screaming,

"I didn't walk home alone Darry, don't you think I know how dangerous that is, God Darry I´ve lived here all my life, I know the way it is".

"But you said you were alone", Darry looked confused and tired now.

"I was but Tim Shepard drove me home," as I said his name I saw Darrys eyes change, what was that, fear or anger?

"God Nora, you went in a car with Shepard? Did he touch you? I swear to God…"

I just tuned out as he began to talk about killing Tim for driving me. This is crazy I thought, he doesn't want me to walk alone and he doesn't want me to get a ride with Shepard. What does he have against Shepard anyway, he likes him well enough when they need him for a fight.

"Darry what the hell is your problem? Shepard saw that I was alone and offered me a ride, what's wrong with that?"

I was really angry now, what had Tim ever done to him anyway?

Darry seemed to have calmed down now, most of his anger was gone, he looked tired as he sat down on my bed motioning for me to sit down next to him.

He looked me in the eyes as he said;

"Tim Shepard ain´t like us, he ain´t like Steve or Two bit or…"

"Dally?" I said looking at him, he sighed and rubbed his temples.

"That ain´t the same thing," he said.

"What's the differens Darry? Dally was no angel either, he was mean and him and Shepard were friends," I said feeling so tired, like I could fall asleep sitting there talking.

"Fine," Darry said standing up, "just be careful with him."

"Don't worry Darry it's not like we're friend, he just drove me home once," I said laying down on the bed falling asleep before he had left the room.


	3. Soda and soda

The next morning I was sitting in the living room eating breakfast with Pony, Darry and Soda had already left for work and Two bit wasn't around. I was glad we were alone, I'm not a morning person, I hate when people talk in the morning, if I as much as hear their breathing I feel sick. Pony is really the only one I can stand in the morning, I don't think he hates mornings as much as me, but he likes it quiet too.

We never even said Good morning to each other when we're alone, we just sit quiet eating our breakfast, more correctly I eat breakfast, I don't like cake in the morning.

I sat there thinking about last night, I could understand where Darry came from now. He was just worried about us, I should have kept track of the time or called him if I was late. But his reaction to Shepard driving me I didn't get, sure I knew he wasn't the best person in the world. I have heard stories about him changing girlfriends as often as Soda changes shirts, if they were even his girlfriends, more girls he slept with I suppose. But that doesn't make him a bad person in my eyes, the girls made their own choices to, and apparently they chose to be with him. Off course he drank, swore and robbed both people and stores, but nothing I have heard about him was any worse that what I knew Dally did.

I really couldn't see the difference between Dally and Shepard, they were two of a kind.

"You coming Nora?" Pony poked his head in the room calling me, I hadn't even noticed he'd left.

"Yeah" I said getting of the couch.

When we walked down the sunny streets to school we started talking about this book Pony had read for class. As we walked past a gang of greasers who were hanging around a car in the parking lot of the school they all nodded respectfully towards us, more to Pony than me I think.

Ever since Johnny killed that soc Pony was considered somewhat of a hero around the east side. I recognised one of the guys as being in Shepard's gang, Pony must have too, because he said;

"Shepard will be out in a month"

Had it really been five months already? Apparently it had. I thought about Curly, Tims little brother, he was as tough as his brother and looked like a slightly smaller copy of him. But he wasn't as smart as Tim from what I had noticed, he didn't carry the same respect as Tim. But he was a nice kid, about a year younger that me I think, he and Pony had always gotten along. They had a sister to, Angela, she was a really pretty girl, but not as nice as she looked in my opinion. She had too much attitude, guess she wanted to live up to her brothers reputations. Myself I gave that up long ago, I will never be as tough as my brothers and I don't really want to be either. I don't fight like I had seen Angela do at school. I leave the fighting to the boys. I could understand why Angela did it tough, she didn't have her brothers at school to protect her and fight for her, she had to fend for her self. I had Pony and Two bit and Steve to look after me.

"What were you and Darry fighting about last night?" Pony looked at me with worry written all over his face. He hated fighting among the gang, I guess it made him remember why he was at that park with Johnny in the first place. Poor kid.

I put my arm around him and said;

" It was nothing, my fault really, don't worry about it kid, we're friends again." Pony looked in my eyes trying to see if I was telling the truth.

" Would I lie to you Pony?" I said shaking his shoulder slightly.

"Fair enough" he sad now smiling.

We were standing outside the school entrance now, and I suddenly didn't feel like going in.

"I don't feel like school today, I think I will go talk to Soda for a while instead"

"Ok" Pony said "see you later"

"Yeah, you go with Two bit home, ok kid?" I couldn't help but worry about him, he was so absent-minded, always in his own little world.

"Ok" he said walking up the stairs to school.

"Hi Soda" I said walking up to the car he was working on.

"Hi Nora" he said his face lighting up, he grinned at me, but became serious suddenly, his usually sparkling eyes worried.

"What was it with you and Darry?"

"It wasn't a big deal, he was pissed I got a ride with Shepard home last night" I said smiling at him, wanting to reassure him everything was fine.

"Shepard as in Tim Shepard?" Soda asked wiping his greasy hands on his jeans.

"Yeah" I said not wanting to meet his eyes.

"Ok, I guess he's nice enough, I just never pictured you with Tim Shepard" he said trying hard not to burst out laughing. That's Soda, one minute he's worried the next he's happy. He just can't help but seeing the best in every situation.

"Real funny Soda!" I punched him lightly in the stomach, and he started goofing around like I had really hurt him. I started laughing at him lying there on the ground pretending to be dying. Soda always made me laugh and I felt I needed to laugh.

I stayed with Soda for a couple of hours just hanging out, having fun, but when more costumers started coming in the afternoon, I went over to the Dingo for a coke and some time to think.

At the Dingo I sat at the bar drinking a coke and for the millionth time I went over the events that change my life the last year, my parents death, Johnny's death and Dally killing him self. Suddenly I felt so old, I felt like the events in my life would have been enough to split between five people and they would still have been trough too much. It felt like ages ago since I was a teenager who worried about which boy to go out with or what clothes to wear, I didn't exactly want that back but I didn't want to feel like my life was over before it had started either.

"Hey Curtis" I heard someone behind me and when I turned around Two bit was standing there with that goofy grin from ear to ear.

"Hi Two bit, you drove Pony home right?" I said pointing at the barstool next to me. As he sat down he nodded and started talking about this girl he had been seeing lately.

"…And her hair is really blond like yours and Sodas but I don't think hers is real…" Two bit is good at cheering you up too with his mindless babble, but he is really smart underneath it all. We sat there talking about his new girl and looked around us, I guess Two bit was looking for someone we new to get the latest news about the socs. After the rumble they had continued harassing greasers like nothing had ever happened.

"Look there's Shepard, come on lets go talk to him" Two bit said motioning at Shepard standing with his gang in the parking lot. Two bit was almost down the stool when Shepard noticed us and walked toward us instead.

"Two bit, Curtis" he said nodding at us.

"Shepard" Two bit greeted him shaking his hand and was just about to say something when Shepard turned to me.

"Darrell let you out of the house?" he asked smirking.

"Yeah, surprisingly he did, he was pissed though" I said smiling up at him, he was standing next to me now leaning against the bar. He wasn't as intimidating today as I remembered him being yesterday. He nodded slowly as he was thinking.

"Yeah well I should go" he said looking me in the eyes like he was searching for something and after awhile he nodded and just turned around and left.

At the door he stopped and called back to us;

"Party tonight at my place Matthews! As he opened the door he called "See you there!" And then he turned around and looked at me "You too Curtis!"

Two bit looked like a living question mark when I turned to him. And as we drove home he asked;

"What's the story with you and Shepard?" His eyes were focused on the road, both his hands on the wheel.

"Nothing, I got a ride home with him yesterday, that's all". I was kind of tiered of everybody asking that, couldn't I just talk to a guy I had kind of known my whole life?

"Look Nora, don't get involved with Shepard, he's…" he sighed and continued "you deserve better than him" he was looking at me now, serious, that's a look Two bit reserves for very few occasions. He must really be worried.

"Two bit" I said to get his attention, "There's nothing going on with me and him" I couldn't even say his name in connection with me, that's how unreal the thought of me and him together was to me. "I just talk to the guy, just like you and Steve and Soda".

I could see he believed me because his whole face relaxed, his shoulders sunk and he continued driving with just one hand, like he normally would.

**Thanks for reviewing my story, I have looked it over and changed some spelling mistakes, hope you like it!**


	4. Friday night party

That same night I found myself at the Shepard family's house, I wasn't really in the mood to party but since Two bit had convinced both Soda and Steve to come, I decided to go. It wasn't like me to turn down a party anyways. As we walked in the living room a Rolling Stones record was playing and there were people everywhere, standing talking, sitting on the couch making out. It was wild, people were already drunk, dancing and screaming, I used to like wild parties as much as Soda but now I just felt out of place somehow. I think it was the thought I had earlier that day about feeling old that bugged me. I wanted to feel happy being at a party with my friends but nothing was the same anymore, I wasn't the same. I tried to convince myself I just needed to relax, but I wasn't buying it. I just felt low and kind of numb.

Soda was giddy like a schoolgirl, talking to everyone who happened to be in his way, laughing and flirting. As I looked at him I felt a pang of jealousy, Soda always seemed to end up alright whatever happened. Two bit and Steve had found some blondes and were all over them, maybe one of them was the girl Two bit had been talking about, well she looked nice enough.

I felt drunk, the room was spinning, all the voices seemed too loud, I felt stuck in a corner with all the people closing in on me. I needed a smoke and some air.

I went out on the porch sitting down on the stairs smoking. There were some greasers outside in the street arguing about something, I heard their yelling but couldn't make out what they were saying. All I could see in the dark were their silhouettes as fists started flying in the air. I heard them cursing each other out and then there was a scream, a scream filled with pain and fear. I saw three of them running away dragging one guy with them. The other three guys stood in the street catching their breaths and talking for a while, I could see one of them wiping a glimmering object of on his pants, and realized that the guy who had been dragged away had been stabbed. He could almost walk so it couldn't have been that bad tough, I hoped he was alright. I felt panic rush trough my body as I started thinking about Johnny, small timid Johnny who had killed a kid to save my brother. I could feel how scared he must have been realizing what he had done; I wished so much I could have been there for him, holding him, telling him he had made the right choice. But did he really make the right choice? Of course I was glad he helped Pony, he might have been drowned otherwise, but killing someone could never be right no matter what, could it? I didn't really know anymore, perhaps some situations justified it.

The greasers were walking towards the house now and as they came closer I could make out Shepard and two of his friends. Shepard's t-shirt was bloody as was his right hand. He didn't look hurt so I figured he had been the one who stabbed that guy. Theywere laughing crudely as they came up to me. Shepard stopped when he saw me and greeted me with a nod, as the others walked past me inside. He still had a wicked smile on his face, his lip split, blood trickling down his chin. I felt sick looking at him. He had just stabbed a guy and he was happy about it. I lowered my eyes to the grass in front of me, putting out my cigarette on the stairs as he walked past me.

I suddenly understood what Darry had meant, Shepard wasn't like our gang, Shepard was wild and dangerous and worse of all he liked it. The difference between a greaser and a hood was suddenly very clear to me.

This was my life, I was supposed to be used to fights with switchblades and other weapons, but since the death of that soc the mere thought of such a fight scared the shit out of me. To be honest just thinking of Shepard now scared the shit out of me as well.

It was getting cold sitting there so I went inside and grabbed a beer in the kitchen; I really needed to be drunk for real to get those pictures of Shepard's bloody t-shirt out of my mind. As I stood by the kitchen door drinking I looked over the crowd in the living room, it was wild. Girls dancing, couples making out, groups talking (more like screaming over the loud music) in a corner there were even a fight going on between Mark, a guy Pony knew who had really strange eyecolour, yellow, he looked like a lion in a cage, always looking for a way to get out, and some hood I recognized as being from Brumly.

I saw Soda dancing with a brown-haired girl I had never seen before, he looked happy. I was happy for him; he had been really down by that whole Sandy-thing. Didn't bother me tough, I never liked her that much, she was just too nice, too pretty, too much of everything. Soda needed a stabile girl who could keep him on the ground.

Two bit was nowhere to be seen, probably with that blond girl somewhere having fun.

Steve where in a corner arguing with Evie, she looked really pissed, must have seen him flirting with those blondes. Poor Steve.

I looked over the crowd once more searching for Two bit but instead my eyes fixed on Shepard, sitting on the couch with a blonde-haired girl in his lap, his tongue down her throat. It was like he felt me watching him, because he shifted the girl over so he could look at me over her shoulder. When his hard black eyes found mine he smiled at me, not that evil smirk of his but that wide grin that showed his teeth. I felt a pang of something I couldn't identify rush through my body, was it discomfort? No it couldn't be I felt perfectly at ease, all relaxed for once. Shepard was back to making out with that girl and I turned my gaze away, lightening up a cigarette.

"Hi Nora" I turned around to see Angela Shepard standing there, a lovely smile on her pretty doll-like face.

"Angela" I offered her a cigarette, lighting it for her.

"Your brother not with you?" she asked looking around her, her arms crossed.

"Depends on which one you are thinking about" I answered looking curiously at her face. She looked nervous, a twitch by the corner of her mouth. She turned her eyes at me now smiling that lovely smile again, all signs of nervousness gone.

"Pony" she answered simply her voice full of confidence. Her black eyes were hard as stone but her face was lit up by her smile. She reminded me of Scarlett O'Hara in Gone with the Wind, the prettiest girl around, her every look demanding. A real lady but a venomous one.

"No he ain´t here" I said seeing her confident smile being replaced by a frown. Of course that didn't ruin her good looks it only made her prettier.

"To bad for him" she said with a cruel smirk that reminded me of her brother "He's missing one hell of a party"

"Yeah" I answered knowing Pony wouldn't have appreciated this party that much.

Angela put the cigarette out with her foot on the carpet, shrugged her shoulders and walked away.

Soda came up to me with a devilish grin on his face, his eyes beaming. He dragged me out to the floor to dance with him. I never found out what happened to that brown-haired girl he had been dancing with before. Steve and Evie soon joined us and we had fun goofing around to the music passing a bottle of whiskey between us. Of course Soda did´nt drink from itbut me and Steve and Evie did.I liked Evie, she had been one of my best friends when we were younger, now she was just a classmate and Steve's girlfriend, but I still liked her and cared about her. Steve was my best friends next to my brothers tough; perhaps that's why I wasn't closer friends with Evie.

We were still singing and dancing on our way home, my heavy mood long gone and all thoughts of Shepard stabbing that guy stored away in the back of my mind, to be thought about later.

**Hope you like it! Sorry for any spelling mistakes, english is not my first language so it´s quite difficult for me to write this the way I want it. Anyway read and review!**


	5. Cards and talks

"Hey Steve, I knew this guy, he shuffled himself to death…" Two bit said shaking with laughter. I couldn't help cracking up myself, not so muchbecause ofthe joke as with seeing Two bit dubbeling over, his face all wrinkled.

"Fuck you, wiseass!" Steve snarled, dealing us the cards.

We were all sitting in the lot playing poker in the sunshine, the weather was great and I felt better then I had felt in a long time. I didn't even have a hangover, I just felt a bit tired, but yet relaxed. Like nothing in the world could get to me.

Soda had informed us about the girl he had been dancing with the night before, her name was Bonnie, she was in town visiting a friend and was returning home today. Soda didn't seem to upset about that though, he just shrugged, smiling, saying she was a great dancer.

"Nora, you in or what?" Steve asked an annoyed edge to his voice. I tossed my cards down on the grass.

"No"

Steve was in a lousy mood, he had a really bad hangover, I could tell. His eyes were red and puffy and he kept rubbing them. Besides the way he was acting was a dead giveaway.

I looked over at Pony, who sat a few feet away his nose in a book.

"Angela Shepard asked about you last night, I called over to him, he didn't respond, probably didn't hear me. The others did tough.

"Is my whole family in love with the Shepards? Darry have you met Curly, I think you would like him, he might be the guy for you" Soda said grinning at Darry who whacked him on the back of his head. Two bit and Steve laughed their heads off.

"I would watch it I were you little brother" Darry said trying to sound serious.

"How's it going with you and Tim anyway? Soda asked me teasingly. All eyes were on me now and the only one who were smiling was Soda. Steve looked angry, his eyes boring holes in my head, Two bit had that worried look on his face again, but this time I could see he also had a smile hidden away underneath it, Darry looked tired and old and then he just sighed and looked at me questioningly. Even Pony looked up from his reading waiting for my answer.

"Haha" was all I said, in my head all I could see was that bloody t-shirt and Shepard's red hand and smirking face. I did´nt feel that good anymore, thinking of him gave me this wierd feeling in the pit of my stomach, like I had something in there trying to get out. I did´nt want to think about Shepard anymorebut suddenly I remembered an event that took place a summer night when we were all kids. I hadn't thought about it in a long time, probably not for years,

We were all playing hide and seek. Me, Soda, Two bit, Darry, Steve, Johnny and Tim and Curly Shepard. Pony and Angela weren't playing, they were too young. It was right after sunset, when the sky is still all red and purple. I was hiding behind a car that was parked in the street. All off a sudden another car came driving atit full speed, it would have crushed me if I hadn't reacted and thrown myself on the sidewalk. The car crashed in to the other, then backed up and speeded away. I was sitting on the sidewalk shivering with fear when Tim found me. He didn't ask me what happened; he just looked at me, sat down next to me and put his arm around my shoulders, calling out to my brothers. When the gang came running he took Curly with him and left.

I was six years old then, Tim eight.

That was the last time I remember seeing Tim Shepard playing. After that we didn't hang around him that much anymore, he began drinking and stealing not long after. Long before any of our gang did. Long before he was ready to, or perhaps I was wrong, maybe kids like him were ready from the day they were born.

"Hey greasers!" I heard a guy calling as he walked up to us, when he got closer I saw his light hair like a lions mane around his beautiful face.

"Hi Mark" Pony said tossing his book away onto the grass.

"So what are you guys up to?" Mark asked flashing us a wide grin as he sat down. He had a black eye but he still looked amazing, full of life. He had a glimpse to his yellowish eyes that made you wonder about him.

"Not much kid, you?" Two bit asked lighting a cigarette.

"Been hanging around the Dingo for awhile, but there was no action so…" he answered "deal me in"

Pony sat down with us and Two bit dealed the cards. I didn't feel like playing anymore so I just sat there watching and listening to the guys fooling around.

When the sun was about to set I saw Pony casting looks up at the sky, that kid was special, he would always be alright, I realized as I watched him. Just like Soda would, as long as he could look at the sunset every night he would be just fine.

A figure was walking up to us from the street, as it came closer I saw it was a girl and when I could make out her black hair I saw it was Angela Shepard. What's she doing here?

When she reached us she greeted us with a graceful nod before she fixed her eyes on Pony. Poor girl, there was no way Pony was interested in her, I thought as I watched her pretty face smile at my little brother.

"Hi Pony" she said sitting down next to him, her eyes gazing over us, when she saw Mark her dark dancing eyes became hard. Pony looked at her with an uninterested look in his eyes as he simply nodded at her. I was quite impressed by him; he was acting real cool towards her.

"So Angel where's Bryon?" Mark asked her with a smirk, that strange glimpse in his eyes gleaming coldly. Angela's face changed from relaxed to superpissed in an instant, her lips pressed together tightly, eyes flashing.

"If you don't remember Mark" she said emphasizing his name, "I dumped him last month" She looked like she wanted to kill him. I felt kind of sorry for her somehow, she just happened to like Pony that's all, I could see where she was coming from, he's a great kid. But I also knew Mark was just trying to help Pony, Bryon was his foster brother so he knew Angela better then us. He probably just wanted to protect Pony from her, maybe that was necessary, I don't know.

"That's not what he told me..." He said that annoying smirk appearing on his face again.

Angela had had enough, she got up standing over Mark with her arms crossed yelling; "You're a fucking asshole!" she left the lot holding her head high as she walked. Mark looked at her back as she left, his eyes glowing dangerously.

**Thanks for all the reviews! This was´nt very good but it will get better, I promise! I am from Sweden so english is my second language. Hope you like it!**


	6. Sunday afternoon

It was early Sunday afternoon as I walked up to the Dingo to get a coke. I was crossing the almost empty parking lot when I noticed Shepard fighting this guy who looked like a mix between a bum and a hippie. I stopped and pushed myself on the hood of a car to watch the fight.

Shepard was one hell of a fighter, he fought in a typical greaser way, his shoulders slouching, moving constantly. His eyes were fixed on the other guy, calculating, watching his every movement like a hungry cat watching it's prey. It wasn't a long fight, the bum/hippie was chanceless against Shepard, who ducked under his punches using that moment when the guy made his attack to launch one of his own. Three blows to his jaw were all it took before he was on the ground.

Shepard stood over him, getting a cigarette from his pocket lightening it as he watched the guy squirming. When the guy tried to crawl away his nose bleeding like crazy, Shepard kicked him in the chest in one swift movement, his cigarette dangling from the corner of his mouth. The sound of cracking ribs was loud enough for me to hear on the other side of the parking lot.

Shepard stood watching the guy for a while then turned around and saw me looking at him; he didn't move he just watched me watching him. His face was blank, that usual smirk of his missing. I felt uncomfortable being caught staring at him like that and wanted to lower me eyes but found I couldn't, his eyes were fixed on mine, hard and cunning. And then he started walking towards me, he didn't stop until he was standing so close to me that my knees touched his thighs, I felt the heat radiate from his body. He flicked his cigarette away his eyes still fixed on mine. All I could think over and over in my confused mind was that his white t-shirt was pricked with tiny dots of blood.

He let his eyes wander over my body and when he met my eyes again I felt this weird feeling in my chest. My heart felt tight, pressed together like a tiny hard ball bouncing up and down. I couldn't make up my mind what made me feel like that, but I did know that I didn't like it. It scared the shit out of me him standing so close, that cold emotionless look in his eyes. He looked at me something in his eyes changing. Suddenly he tore his eyes away and took a step back; lightening up a new cigarette he placed himself next to me, leaning against the car. My heart was pounding like a hammer in my chest.

"So you here all by your lonesome Curtis?" he asked his dark blue eyes fixed on something in the distance.

"Yeah" I managed to get out. He turned to me smirking slightly saying;

"Come all this way just to look at me?" he grinned at me his teeth shining in the afternoon sun.

"You wish" I answered feeling more at ease "came to get a coke"

"So what are you sitting here for?" he asked, standing up he began to walk towards the entrance. "Come on, I´m notgonna bite you" he said motioning for me to follow him. I did.

"You ever looked at a sunset?" I asked Shepard taking a drag from my cigarette. I was thinking about that letter Johnny had given to Pony before he died. Pony had told me about Johnny wanting to tell Dally to watch a sunset, and as I sat there talking to Shepard I felt like asking him to watch one. Maybe Johnny was right, maybe Dally wouldn't have been so hard if he had looked at sunsets the way Pony did.

"I've seen´em" Shepard answered simply, folding his hands on the table.

We had been sitting at the Dingo for some time talking, Shepard had just been cursing good-heartedly about Curly being in the reformatory. He had a look in his eyes when he talked about Curly that I hadn't ever seen on him before; he looked proud and almost happy.

"I think Angie has a thing for that brother of yours" He said a wicked smile appearing on his face "the quiet on" he added and chuckled lightly. He had known us all our lives and still he didn't know our names, except for Darry and Two- bit and of course Dally.

"Yeah, I kinda figured that" I said smiling up at him "she came by the lot yesterday you know" Shepard turned his eyes away from me and looked out the window smiling slightly.

"Yeah? She's such a little bitch" He laughed but it wasn't a hard, cold laughter, it was heartily and I could see admiration in his eyes. He was proud of her.

As I sat there watching him I realized he wasn't as cold-hearted as I'd thought him to be, he loved his siblings as much as I loved mine.

He had been taking care of them just as Darry took care of us; only difference was the way we came out. Curly and Angela were hard, cold hoods just like their brother, they never had the chance to be anything else and they seemed to like it. Me, Soda and Pony were greasers only because of where we lived, the fact that we didn't have any money. If Darry could he would move us away from here so fast it would make our heads spin. I guess the only difference between Darry and Tim was the way they were as persons, Tim liked being a greaser and a hood, Darry hated it, but they did their best trying to protect their siblings in their on way.

As I looked around me I saw a pretty red- headed girl walking up to Shepard, she leaned in close to his face and asked for light, she lookedhim in the eyessuggestively, smiling. He didn't smile back at her as he lit her cigarette but when she walked away he followed hermotions with a smirk on his lips. Then he turned to me smiling confidently and I suddenly felt sick of him. He was looking at me curiously, that annoying smile plastered on his face.

"That's one nice looking broad, she's quite good in …" That was it, I had had it.

"Ever wonder if she says the same about you?" I asked smiling sweetly at him an edgy tone to my voice. He looked at me his eyes boring holes in my head for awhile, then he just turned his head away smiling slightly.

"You're quite sharp Curtis" he said nodding thoughtfully at me. I didn't understand what he meant but I was glad I didn't have to hear any more details about that girl.

"Well here comes the brothers" he suddenly said looking out the window. As I followed his gaze I saw Soda, Steve and Pony walking up to the entrance. Shepard looked at me, silently asking if I wanted him to leave. I didn't want him to, I was having a good time with him and wasn't gonna spoil that just because my brothers didn't want me hanging with him, besides they were always talking to him themselves, why couldn't I?

The moment they walked in the door Sodas sharp eyessaw us sitting there and he walked over to us, the others following. I saw Soda smiling knowingly to himself. What the hell was he thinking now, why did he always have to read so much into things? At least he had the brains to keep it to himself, or at least I hoped he did.

"Shepard you bastard, you sitting here pestering my sister?" Soda said grinning widely as he extended his hand to Shepard. Shepard chuckled.

"Don't see her complaining..." he said shaking Sodas hand firmly.

Steve grunted a hello and sat down next to me, Pony didn't say a word he just looked at me curiously as he seated himself next to Steve. Soda sat down beside Shepard and began to talk about a fight they had seen outside the movie as they walked by earlier, Soda said one of the guys had looked like this Mike guy that was in Shepard's gang. Shepard listened closely to what Soda was saying and when he had heard the whole story he got up saying hehad to check it out.

"So you and Shepard huh?" Steve said after he had left, a wisecrack- smile on his face. His eyes weren't smiling though; they were glaring daggers at the door Shepard had left trough.

Soda and Pony were laughing lightly.

"Just give it a rest Steve" I said tired of everybody's obsession with me and Shepard talking.

"So how is he? As rough as he looks or is he sweet underneath that hard exterior?" Steve asked still being a smart-ass. I was pissed now, that was just too much.

"How the hell am I supposed to know" I yelled, glaring at him "why don't you ask that girl over there" I pointed to the red-headed girl who had asked Shepard for light. I felt like killing both her and Steve.

"Wow, calm down, I was just joking Nora" Steve said holding up his hands. I watched his face closely seeing that he actually looked sorry. I had always had a hard time staying mad at Steve, perhaps I was to easy on him just to compensate for his lousy temper.

"Nora by the way, Darry wanted to know were you put that shirt you borrowed from him" Soda said looking at me, a loving smile on his face.

And with that small remark he saved the rest of that day for me.

**Well, hope you like it! Read and Review!**


	7. Dreaming of him

The next night I found Pony smoking and watching the sunset on our tiny porch, it was late; Soda and Darry were already in bed. Pony was sitting on the stairs his eyes fixed on the dull grey clouds that moved over the bright red sky. He didn't hear me approach him and I didn't want to startle him so I cleared my throat softly. He turned his head at the sound and smiled at me briefly, his eyes brimming with unshed tears. I felt a knot beginning to form in my stomach and my heart beginning to ache as I watched a single tear find its way down Pony's face.

I wanted to run over to him, throw my arms around his neck and comfort him, telling him that everything wound be alright. My poor little brother, how sorry I felt for him. I knew that nothing ever would be completely alright for him again. He had seen to much, that soc's dead body, he had fled his hometown and his family and as that wasn't enough, he had watched to of his best friends die in the course of a day. In the light of that I knew he could never be that young dreamer he used to be, I was however fairly certain he would never become as hardened and cold as the hoods downtown, as the boys in Tim Shepard's gang. At that moment, as I watched my little brother hurt like that, I couldn't make up my mind wether that was a good thing or not. I didn't want him to be like them but I didn't want him to break either.

So instead of hugging him I walked over to him and sat down next to him. He was back to watching the now purple sky, his eyes dry again.

"Give me" I said to him motioning to his cigarette, he passed it over to me and I took a long drag, feeling the comforting smoke filling my lungs and spreading trough my body.

"Darry don't like you smokingso much , you know" I turned to him passing the cigarette back.

"Yeah well, I like me to smoke that much" he answered shrugging. I couldn't help but smile at that. Pony was a nice kid but he was tough when he needed to be, he just knew how to pick his battles better that most greasers. And the battles he picked often involved disobeying Darry. They had gotten along a lot better the past months but some of the tension was still there.

"Don't be too hard on him, Pony" I said patting his knee lightly "you dig?"

He flicked his cigarette away onto our lawn shrugging. He sighed and turned his handsome face to me.

"Yeah I know, I wont" he sighed again continuing "just like smoking that's all sis" He smiled at me tiredly.

"Looks like you could need some sleep kid" He nodded as he got up and walked inside turning to me saying;

"Good night Nora"

"Night kid" I said watching him close the door behind him.

I looked up at the sky, which was now pitch-black and filled with blinking stars, it was beautiful and I watched it awe-struck for some time before I went inside to get some sleep.

I woke in the middle of the night, the room resting in darkness around me, my heart pounding like crazy, my throat tight and dry. I struggled to catch my breath as I tried to remember what I had dreamed. I sat up leaning against the wall looking around the dark room, my eyes getting used to the darkness I could see my cover and cheats were all messed up, I must had been fighting in my dream. And then as I saw my blue skirt laying tossed on the floor I remembered the dream.

I had been in the backseat of a car, making out with some guy, he had been kissing my neck his hand roaming over my body. I was just laying there and letting him do what he wanted to me. His hands were on my breasts, I could hear his ragged breaths and suddenly I knew who he was.

I remembered being in that car, I remembered it all, his hands on me, his body against mine, the heat between us, the feeling that I shouldn't be there. Fuck! I didn't want to remember that, didn't want to remember _him_. But suddenly I was back to remembering my dream again, I started to struggle to get away from him and when I tried to wiggle myself away from underneath him he pinned my arms behind my head and held me down. My eyes were closed and as I opened them I was prepared see his face looking down at me. But what I saw made my heart stop beating for a second.

Tim Shepard was looking down on me, my surprise reflecting in his blackish eyes. That's when I had awakened, panting for breath.

What the fuck had Shepard been doing in my dream? And in the place where I knew _he_ should be. I hated to think about _him_, I thought I had forgotten about him and about that night long ago. Apparently I hadn't.

I pulled the covers around my shoulders, thinking about him for the first time since he had left. I didn't really know what I had felt about him then, now I didn't feel a thing as I saw his face in my head, his brown hair greased back, his brown eyes smiling at me. But at that time I had really liked him, maybe I was in love with him even, but I hadn't loved him of that I was sure. I had only met him a couple of times and both times we had ended up almost having sex in his car. I had tried with all my might to resist him almost giving in to him, but in the last minute I sort of woke up, seeing how it would all end up if I did have sex with him. He would have left me when he had gotten what he wanted, never looking back, moving on to the next girl who was smitten by his dancing brown eyes and sparkling laughter. I had tried to get away from underneath him then, but he had grabbed my wrist and held me down trying to force himself on me. I had panicked, struggling like a madman to get away, and in the fight that ensued I somehow managed to knee him in the groin. As he doubled over crying out in pain, I flew out of the car, running the whole way home.

I never told anyone about what had happened, and a couple of days later I was told he had left town. I was glad that I didn't have to deal with him and I put it all behind me, that is until this night.

But what the hell had Shepard been doing in his place? The logical side of my brain told me it was just because I had seen him a lot lately, that he was on my mind unconsciously and by accident got mixed up in that dream. But an other part of me felt scared of the thought of him taking _his _place trying to rape me and yet somehow I was surprised to feel I hadn't been as scared of seeing his face above mine as I thought I would have been had it been _his_ face. And what about the surprised expression in his eyes? Why had he been surprised, it was my dream, my memory to be surprised about. He wasn't even real, he was just a dream and dreams weren't supposed to feel anything, least of all surprise. It didn't make any sense, but then again it was a dream and they rarely make sense, at least not mine.

I laid down again pulling the covers over my body and found myself thinking of the day before. Pictures of Shepard fighting, standing watching me and his face as he spoke to me kept spinning around. I thought about the intimidating feeling of him being close to me, the feeling of his legs against my knees, the warmth coming from his body, that expressionless stone- cut face of his in front of me. I could suddenly see him as he were in my dream, his strong hands holding me down against the seat, his body pressing down on mine and I felt panic rush coldly trough my spine. I had to remind myself that it was not he who had done that to me, he had never even touched me, at least not improperly. And when I thought about that look he had had on his face when he talked about his siblings, that look of pride that made his whole face seem softer, I felt the fear subside and in its place a dull throbbing feeling appeared in the pit of my stomach.

I fell asleep wondering what that feeling was.

**Thanks for the reviews, especially thanks to memyselfandi who gave me the idea for this chapter. Hope you enjoy it!**


	8. Going to Bucks

"Nora come on, you have to go…" Soda said to me, his big brown eyes pleading with me "please?" he threw his arm around my shoulders and leaned in and kissed my cheek.

"Come on, do it for your only twin brother" I couldn't help but laugh at him; he was really kissing up to me. He had begun to ask me to go with him to a party Friday night at Bucks a couple of days ago. Everybody else had plans, Two bit and Pony were going to the movies and Steve and Darry were both working late, so that left me. He had told me that Bonnie, that girl from Shepard's party might be there and that's why he wanted to go.

"Fine" I answered sighing, pretending like I was making a big sacrifice for him. I wasn't, I had been meaning to go with him all along, I just liked watching him beg for a while. I didn't feel like partying this Friday any more then I had last Friday but since Soda wanted to go so badly I felt like I had to do it for him. Besides that girl seemed like a nice enough girl, she seemed to have spirit and an opinion of her own, from what Soda had told me about her. The thing I had found most lacking in Sandy was the fact that she was a hopeless follower; she could never stand alone in anything.

"You're the greatest!" Soda bounced up and down hugging me, his eyes sparkling with happiness.

That Friday I found myself in Two bits car with Soda going to Bucks. I knew Darry wasn't too happy about us going there but he had never really been able to tell neither of us what to do like he did Pony. Besides I think he trusted us to be careful, with Pony it was different, he was the youngest, still a kid in Darry's eyes. Probably always would be just a kid to him.

"So" I turned to Soda with a curios grin on my face "you nervous about seeing her?"

"Nah, not really nervous more exited" he answered grinning happily while he kept his eyes on the road.

Of course he wasn't nervous, Soda never were, he was this perfect wonderful person who I loved more than life, and I knew him inside and out but I was nothing like him. I was more like a mix between Darry and Pony, serious and older than my age like Darry and analyzing and thoughtful like Pony. Mostly I was like Pony though, I understood that kid as if he were a part of me, Soda I understood because he was always closest to my heart, he was my twin, my Soda.

"You gonna sit there all night Nora?" Soda called to me from outside the car, he was standing leaning in trough the open door. I hadn't even noticed that the car had stopped moving.

As we walked in the door to Bucks, I inhaled the smell of cigarettes and alcohol with a hint of horses that was always hanging in the air in this place.

We walked up to the bar and Soda ordered a coke, I didn't order anything, not because I didn't want to drink but because Soda never drank alcohol and when I was alone with him it didn't feel right to drink. I knew he wouldn't have minded if I did, but around him I was always a bit more careful then I usually was because he had the sharpest eyes, he would see if I was the least bit tipsy from miles away. It was ok when the gang was around or when we were more people, but not when it was just the two of us.

"Hi Soda" a girl walked up to us saying. Soda turned around to face her, and when he saw her his whole face lit up, his eyes dancing merrily.

"Hi Bonnie" he met her halfway and greeted her with a warm hug. Then he turned to me again saying;

"Nora, this is Bonnie"

"Hi" I said facing her. She looked at me smiling, she was quite pretty, a bit shorter than me, with long brown hair and dark brown eyes. She looked natural, her skirt was longer then what the normal greaser girls wore, hers was as long as mine, just below the knees. I never wore shorter skirts; Darry would have killed me before he let me out of the house if I did, and besides I would have felt like a hooker. I didn't mind that other girls wore short skirts, I didn't think of them as easier than me, I just didn't want to wear that short skirts myself.

"So, you're twins?" she smiled looking between Soda and me "One can tell, you're very like each other"

I had never thought about it like that, I mean I knew we had some similar features like our hair and eye colour, but that we were that alike I had never realised. As I looked up at Soda I felt like that wasn't a bad thing, he was the most beautiful guy I had ever seen; both his looks and person were absolutely breathtaking.

"Wanna dance" Soda asked Bonnie smiling flirtatiously at her. She nodded and they walked of.

I stood at the bar watching them dance, knowing already that I liked her. She was natural and nice, she even talked properly.

"Hi there Nora" I heard from behind me and as I turned around I saw Mark standing there, he was smiling widely, his yellowish eyes sparkling.

"Mark" I nodded at him and moved a little for him to stand beside me, he walked up to me and leaned against the bar.

"That good for nothing brother of yours not here?" he asked letting his eyes wander over the crowd.

"No, he and Two bit are at the movies" I answered watching his handsome face nodding slowly as he registered what I had said. He was beautiful too, not as perfectly handsome as Soda but beautiful in a special way; he gave you this feeling like he was more alive than any other human was. His whole being radiated liveliness.

"You're not drinking?" Mark asked me searching the counter for a glass that could belong to me.

"No, not yet" I said to him, smirking.

Mark waved the bartender over and ordered two beers; he passed one of the bottles over to me flashing me a charming smile. He looked exactly like a lion when he smiled like that, his lips curved upwards showing of his slightly pointed teeth. Dallas teeth had also been sharp like that; his cold smiles making him look like a wild animal. There was something wild and almost desperate in Marks looks as well, maybe that's was what I had seen in his eyes before that I couldn't grasp.

I thanked him for the beer and when he looked at me that desperate look was gone, his face soft, his eyes laughing. I took a swig from my beer, savouring the bitter taste as it ran down my throat.

Mark turned his face away from me as he said;

"You know, Angela Shepard is such a manipulating bitch! You should really be careful with her when it comes to Ponyboy" he looked me in the eyes his yellow ones glimmering dangerously. I wondered in my mind what she had ever done to him and his foster brother to make him dislike her so much.

"And her fucking brothers are assholes!" he continued looking away from me, his voice angry and mean but his face was still smiling softly.

"What's wrong with them?" I asked him curiously thinking about my dream some nights ago, I still couldn't get that look of surprise on Shepard's face out of my mind. It didn't scare me anymore to think about it, but it gave me an uneasy feeling in my stomach.

"They're bastards" he said taking a swig of his beer "I mean there ain't too much wrong with Tim, at least he's got a brain, but Curly, that mother fucking ditz, he's a stupid son of a bitch!" He continued to curse about Curly who apparently wasn't his favourite person.

I had never thought that much about Curly, I mean he might not be the smartest guy around, but he wasn't dumb, he just talked a bit too much. Of course I had heard about things he had done and they weren't nice but they weren't any worse than what I had heard Mark had done. The reason Mark disliked them must be personal I thought, maybe it had something to do with Bryon, his foster brother.

Mark was smiling at me now pointing at Soda and Bonnie who were dancing closely together.

"That's a nice looking broad your brother has got himself" he said all anger gone from his voice.

"Yeah, she seems nice" I answered watching Soda put his arms around her waist hugging her closer to him. He looked really happy, his eyes shining brightly in the dark.

I couldn't help but smile widely as I watched him, wanting nothing more then for him to be happy.

**Thank you for reviewing my story! It's nice to know that somebody's reading it! There will be more Tim in the next chapter!**


	9. Long skirts and suits

We were hanging around Two bits car at the Dingo that Sunday afternoon, it was me, Soda, Steve and Two bit. Steve was inside talking to a couple of guys he knew, probably to find out what the soc's were up to. He had been working almost full time and going to school this week so he obviously thought he needed an update.

Me and Soda were leaning against the car and Two bit were sitting on the hood smoking, his legs dangling when we saw Shepards car come to an abrupt halt across from us in the parking lot, the brakes shrieked and it started to smell of burned rubber. We all watched in silence as Angela flung the door open and jumped out firing of a sentence containing of nothing but curses. She was dressed in a black skirt, longer than I had ever seen her wear before and a black blouse. The driver's door opened directly after, Tim getting out and rounding the car, he got over to Angela as she tried to get away from him grabbing her by her shoulders shaking her saying something in a low voice. Angela looked up at him practically spitting out something that I couldn't hear, all I heard was;

"…fucking bastard!" which she yelled at his face as she pushed his hands away from her and stomped of angrily. Tim stood there watching her walk of, his body tense and his glare murderous. He was also wearing all black. On closer look I saw it was a suit he was wearing, the jacket was buttoned up and under it he had a white shirt and around his neck a black tie. I had never in my life seen a greaser wear anything like that, except for my brothers at our parent's funeral. That's when I realised that that must be what this was about; they had been at a funeral.

"May, may Shepard, aren't you all decked out" Two bit said smirking and tossing the cigarette at the ground. Shit was all I had time to think before Shepard was standing in front of Two bit giving him a challenging glare. I looked over at Soda wanting to know if he understood what would happen, he nodded at me and took a step closer to me and we now stood few inches away from Two bit. Two bit didn't notice the look in Shepard eyes or he pretended like he didn't notice, but the next thing he said was the most stupid thing I had ever heard him say.

"Who died?" his eyes sparkled with humour but only for a short moment before Shepard's fist had connected with his jaw and Two bit was half laying against the hood holding his face as he swore between his teeth.

Shepard stood still, his eyes focused on his right hands knuckles. I washed as the muscles in his back and shoulders slowly relaxed and when he had clenched and unclenched his hand a few times he looked up, his eyes fixed on Two bit.

"Mike" he said with a smirk, his eyes staring coldly at Two bit who was now sitting up touching his chin carefully. Two bit looked surprised still, a tiny hint of hurt but also guilt visible in his eyes.

"Sorry man" he said offering Shepard a cigarette. I knew that was his way of making up for his mistake and apparently so did Shepard because he took the cigarette and shrugged his shoulders slightly.

I knew that Mike was a guy in Tim's gang, but that was all I knew about him, he had never been around me or my brothers so I didn't know him. I had often seen him with Shepard though and I recalled him being on of the guys who had been fighting those other greasers outside Shepard's house that night.

"I'm gonna go look for Steve" Soda said smiling slightly "you wanna come Nora?" he asked turning to me. I shook my head no and he pushed himself of off the car, when he passed Shepard he put his hand lightly on his shoulder saying;

"Take care man" Shepard nodded but remained silent as Soda walked away.

The silence that surrounded the three of us was pressing. I looked over at Two bit who still looked a bit baffled, probably wondering at his own stupidity. Shepard was standing leaning against the car next to Two bit, his left hand in the pocket of his pants the other holding the cigarette which he didn't smoke, he just let it burn between his fingers. I watched as Two bit turned his head towards Shepard looking at him curiously.

"What?" Shepard asked annoyed, but he didn't turn around to look at him instead he fixed his eyes on me, and when he saw me watching him his lips curved into a small smile, but as his eyes fixed on mine all I could see was indifference. I felt a shiver run up my spine at his cold apathetic stare and when he noticed me shivering he turned his eyes away snorting loudly.

Two bit had watched us as he sat between us and now he jumped down from the hood and looked me in the eyes questiongly. I looked back at him not knowing exactly what I showed him or even what I wanted to show him, but he nodded thoughtfully and turned to Shepard.

"See you later man, I'm gonna…go" he said backing away from us.

I watched as he turned around and strode over to the entrance his hands in his pockets. When I turned to Shepard he was staring into the distance his eyes more blue then I had ever seen them before, suddenly he turned to me his eyes showing his surprise at finding me watching him once more. That look made my inside cringe as I remembered my dream, but I wasn't scared, it was something else. He was still looking at me, his face blank but his eyes searching mine.

"You scared of me Curtis?" he asked smirking wickedly.

"No" I answered and I actually meant it, I wasn't scared of him, I just didn't know what to say to him, he made me feel small and inferior.

He chuckled lightly and turned his gaze away.

"You don't believe me?" I asked him watching his profile. His brows were furrowed and his jaws clenched, and I realized he had looked like that ever since got out of that car. He was upset about something, and why shouldn't he be, he had just been at a friends funeral.

"Yeah, I do" he stated flatly and looked at me indifferently as he rubbed his face slowly with his hands. He looked tired, his eyes fixing on something far away.

"You ok Tim?" I suddenly felt worried about him, I had never seen him like this, so indifferently and exhausted, so old. As I asked him he immediately straightened up, his eyes fixing on the burned down cigarette in his hand.

"Sure" he said as he tossed it away. He turned around completely now facing me, he looked as if he was going to walk off but he didn't instead he just stood there only a foot away from me. I looked up at him wondering what he was thinking, his face was as still as a statues and if it hadn't been for that scar he would have been as good looking as one. I was curious about how he had gotten it, I had heard Soda and Darry talk about it one time, they had said it was a tramp who did it, but that was all I knew, I wanted to know what really had happened. But as my eyes found his I realized that this wasn't a good time to ask, he had probably seen me looking at the scar and now he was glaring at me with a smirk that looked more like a frown. I couldn't understand what he was so angry about but then I realized that I wasn't that good at hiding my emotions, when I had been looking at his scar I had probably made some sort of face. I hadn't meant to but thinking about how he had gotten it made me shudder unintentionally. He was still watching me silently with his arms crossed over his chest, his eyes hard and cunning. I wasn't really aware of what I did until my hand had reached up to touch his scar, as soon as my fingers lightly touched it he flinched back still glaring at me. I let my hand fall down to my side again.

"That must have hurt like hell" I stated wanting to take back whatever look I might have had on my face that disturbed him. He was still watching me, but something in his eyes changed and he smirked at me and in his eyes I could see a glimpse of amusement.

"Really? You think so?"

"You guys standing here still?" Soda asked as he walked up to us and threw an arm around my neck. Shepard smirked at him and lighted up a cigarette. In a minute both Steve and Two bit had joined us and soon the talk about who had been fighting who and where had begun. I tuned out not long after they had started the conversation not caring about who did what to whom.

**Hope you like it! I'm not that sure I do, maybe it is to much to soon? What do you think?**


	10. The fight

Late next morning I was sitting on our porch drinking coffee, no one was around and I was enjoying the silence. I wasn't too often that it was quiet in our house, but Pony was out running and Darry worked half day, even if it was Sunday, Soda worked full day. Steve and Two bit had left to go to some party after we had returned from the Dingo last night and hadn't been heard from since. They were probably sleeping away their hangovers somewhere and I was happy about that, being around Steve when he was in that condition wasn't my first choice for passing the time.

I woke up from my thoughts as I saw Shepard walking up our lawn; he flung himself down next to me on the stairs. He looked like hell, he was still wearing the suit pants and the shirt from yesterday, but now they were dirty and wrinkled. His hair was all ruffled and kept falling down in his eyes.

"Darrel home?" he asked resting his head on his arms, the arms on his knees.

"No, he will be though" I said taking a sip from my coffee "half an hour maybe"

I heard him sigh and he looked up tiredly and fixed his eyes on his hands and when I followed his gaze I saw that his hands were swollen and red, his knuckles all torn open.

"Got into a fight" he said and smirked smugly "with a wall"

"Must have been a bad assed wall to be able to do that to your hands" I said chuckling. Shepard turned to me and grinned that wide wolf grin of his that he showed of way to seldom in my opinion, but this time if looked like it hurt him to smile, his smile turned to a frown and he swore under his breath, rubbing his temples.

"Wild party yesterday?" I asked smiling slightly at him.

"To wild" he stated and put his head on his arms once more.

We were both silent for a long time. I watched him rest and started to think about yesterday, I wondered if he was sad that Mike had died or if he just felt empty like I had felt when we reached Dally's dead body in the street. It was like I had spent all of my sadness on my parents and Johnny's deaths and there were no more tears to cry over Dally, all that was left was this empty feeling of abandonment. I had cried many times over Dally after that though, to make it up to him perhaps, but probably more for my own sake, because I missed him.

Shepard's wavy black hair was flying freely in the wind; it didn't even look like he had any grease in it. I saw his shoulders rise and fall as he breathed. He looked up then, his eyes searching something on the other side of the street, when he found it he let his eyes rest there.

"Can I ask you something?" I said in a low voice as to not startle him if he was deep in thoughts. He wasn't startled, he just turned to me, his eyes meeting mine, watching me questioningly. He nodded silently and turned away from me.

"What happened to Mike?" He turned to me again, smirking, his eyes a cold dark blue stare.

"That stupid son of a bitch rammed his car into a house" he laughed coldly "the car was totally wrecked, they had to identify him by his teeth" he turned away with a disgusted look on his face grunting "Stupid doped up son of a bitch!"

I didn't say anything, didn't know what to say to him. He looked angry and disgusted on the surface but under it he just looked tired.

We sat in silence until Darry got home. Darry and Shepard walked in to the house to talk, Shepard's face back to its normal indifferent look.

When he had left, giving me a silent nod I walked in to the house again. I found Darry in the kitchen making himself a sandwich. When he heard me come in he turned around and smiled at me.

"Hungry?" He asked waving a sandwich in front of me, I accepted and we sat down to eat.

"What did Shepard want?" I asked curiously.

Darry fixed his eyes on me a serious look in them, then he sighed and begun to talk;

"It was about this guy who had hit Angela, Tim had noticed she had a black eye yesterday and after some convincing she told him it was this guy, Casey I think his name was…" I gasped in surprise, what the hell was Casey doing back? My mind began to spin and Darry continued talking but I couldn't concentrate on what he was saying, I could only snap up some fragments.

"…apparently have lots of friends in Brumly…" How could _he_ be back, what was I supposed to do, I couldn't tell my brothers now, not so long after. I felt panic rush through my body.

"...help to make it an even fight tomorrow..."

I have to get a grip I thought, I had to do something. I rushed from the table and out our house saying I had to tell Shepard to say hi to Angela for me and ran down the street and kept running until I saw Shepard walk in front of me. I ran up to him and began to walk beside him. He looked over at me and nodded half-heartedly, his every step seemed to hurt his head.

"Tim" I said and grabbed at his shirt to make him stop, when he did he turned to me both surprise and annoyance in his eyes.

"Will you beat him for me too?" I asked not really able to look into his eyes, but of course he wasn't stupid, he fixed his eyes on my face and spat out;

"Why?" I didn't want to answer him so I just shrugged my shoulders and kept my eyes on the ground.

"Fuck" I heard him say and then I felt his hands on my shoulders, he held me in a tight grip, his fingers digging into me. His breath was hot against my face and smelled of whiskey and beer. I didn't look up even though he started to shake me slightly and then I felt his hand on my chin forcing my head up to face him. His black eyes searched mine and then he nodded and let me go. He took a step back.

"Shit" he grunted, rubbing his temples. He took a step forward again and asked me, his voice now calm and soft;

"When?"

"About a year ago, but I got away…" I said now looking at him, his eyes weren't angry anymore, just cold and calculating, he nodded slowly. Then he turned around and walked off his back tense and his fists clenched.

"Tim..." I called after him and he turned around again.

"I wont tell Darrel" he said smiling slightly and started to back away from me.

"…be careful!" I called and he just waved his hand nonchalantly, turned a stalked away.

The next night I waited at home while the gang was with Shepard's gang fighting that creep. I hoped they hurt him severely. What he had tried to do to me I could live with but that he tried to hurt Angela I couldn't, she was practically just a kid, even though it probably wasn't the first time she was in a situation like that.

Suddenly the door burst open and the gang walked in, laughing and singing.

"Wow, Nora you should have been there…" Two bit threw himself at the couch next to me smiling wildly.

"No she shouldn't have" Darry said sternly touching his right eye carefully. A big bruise was beginning to show.

I let me eyes wander over them to make sure they weren't to badly injured, the looked ok, just some minor cuts and bruises.

"…anyway it was awesome!" Two bit continued.

Darry had walked out to the kitchen and Soda, Steve and Pony were all sitting around the living room tending to their injuries.

"Ok, lay it on me guys!" I said smiling at them.

They all started to talk at the same time and it was quite hard to hear what they were all saying but something Steve said caught my ears;

"…should've seen Shepard, he would have killed that guy, hadn't it been for the fuzz showing up…" I felt happy and worried at the same time, I mean I wanted Casey to be hurt but I didn't want Shepard to get in trouble for it.

"…dragged him off of him and drove him home…" Steve continued.

"He was still pissed though" Pony piped in.

Soda walked over to me and sat down beside me; he turned his head to me discreetly, his cheek against mine and whispered in my ear;

"Don't worry, he's fine" then he turned around and joined in the conversation again.

**Thanks for all the reviews! Hope you like it! **


	11. Talking and thinking

As I walked out of school the next day the first thing I saw was Shepard, standing leaning against his car just a few feet away. When he saw me coming out the door he walked up to me. He looked ten times worse then any of our gang had from the fight. His lip was split and as he smirked at me I could see him wince in pain because of it, his face was all shades of yellow, purple, black and blue, his left eye was swollen, but not so much that he couldn't open it. He had a small cut in his left eyebrow as well, but even with his face all mangled he still looked cool, slouching before me, his hands in his jeans pockets.

"You got a minute Curtis?" he asked motioning me to his car. I followed him and got in the passenger seat. He got in and sat quiet for a while looking out the window. I watched his face closer, feeling suddenly dizzy and nauseous. That must really hurt, I thought shuddering. Shepard turned to me smiling slightly.

"It ain't that bad" he said putting his hands on the wheel. I was silent as I watched his hands; they were still swollen, even more so then yesterday. He was looking out the window again concentrating on something in the distance.

"Look Nora…" he said sighing. I flinched when I heard him saying my name, I had no idea he even knew it. As I looked at him I could tell he didn't know how to say what he wanted to say, his hands griped the wheel so hard that blood started to trickle from his busted knuckles. He didn't notice and continued;

"That guy, Casey…" he paused still looking out the window, his eyes unreadable "…a year ago…" he cleared his throat and fixed his eyes on mine "…he was in my gang…" I heard myself gasp for air, how could I not have known that? A small part of my brain asked me if it really mattered, but the rest screamed at me that Shepard should have known what he was, he should have beaten him up then. Still, I thought I couldn't blame him for something a guy in his gang did when he wasn't there.

"…he went after Angie to get back at me for kicking him out" I heard Shepard shift in his seat and looked up to see him stroking his chin with his right hand, wincing slightly as he touched the bruises. He looked over at me his eyes dark.

"He wont come back" he said his voice hard "the fuzz got him, plus he won't be walking for at least six months"

I smiled at that, I was glad he had hurt him that badly and suddenly I felt bad for ever thinking that he was to blame just because Casey had been in his gang.

"Angela ok?" I asked feeling embarrassed as looked out the window, following the motions of those who walked by.

Shepard snorted "Yeah, she's fine, she knows how to handle her self" he chuckled lightly adding "Probably had it coming" in a low voice. I couldn't help but laugh at that, he was a pretty special guy, to go through so much trouble to kick a guy's ass for hitting his sister when he really knew that she probably deserved it. But that was just the way it was, no matter how wrong your family were they still came first. I looked over at Shepard who was wiping his bloody knuckles off on his jeans while laughing softly and I suddenly felt a warmth in my chest. He was a nice guy even if he was a hood and even if he enjoyed being one.

"Thanks Tim" I said touching his arm gently. He looked at me a glimpse of surprise in his dark blue eyes, his gaze fell on my hand resting on his arm and I removed it instantly not even knowing why I had put it there in the first place. Looking out the window again I felt myself blushing slightly.

"You and your brothers going to the race tonight?" Shepard asked putting a cigarette between his lips, lighting it.

"Don't know yet" I answered opening the car door and getting out as I saw Angela walk out of the school.

"See you later Nora" I heard Shepard saying as I walked around the car to the drivers side, he was sitting with his arm hanging out the window, rising his hand to greet his sister who was walking towards us.

"Bye" I said walking off, giving Angela a nod when I passed her. She didn't look too bad, her right eye was a bit swollen and purple but it wasn't that bad, at least I didn't think so after seeing Tim's face.

I walked over to Two bits car waiting for him and Pony to come. I felt kind of cold so I picked the lock open and jumped in the back seat. I was glad Dally had showed me how to pick locks that time some years ago; I had been with him when he stole a car to drive around town at night, he did it just because we were bored out of our minds. Dally knew all sorts of things that came in handy once in a while, although picking locks was the only illegal thing he showed me that I sometimes practiced.

"Hey Nora, what are you thinking about?" Two bit asked as he looked at me in the rear view mirror. He wasn't even surprised at finding me already in the car, guess it had became somewhat of a tradition for me to pick the lock. Pony was sitting in the passenger seat his head turned towards me.

"Dally" I said looking out the window at the school, feeling cold and tired. They both nodded their heads silently as we drove off.

We rarely ever talked about Dally and Johnny in the gang anymore since they died; sometimes one of us had happened to mention something to do with them and everybody immediately fell silent or changed the subject. Nobody seemed to want to remember, even though I knew nobody had forgotten either. It was just something that needed to be healed individually.

We drove all the way home in silence, Pony looking out the window lost in thoughts and Two bit concentrating on the driving. I could see how hard it was for him to be quiet, I could see that he wanted to tell a joke to make us laugh, but he knew it wouldn't have worked so he stayed silent.

As soon as I got in the house I went to my room and flung myself on the bed drifting of to sleep. I didn't wake up until I heard Darry, Soda and Steve come home, with them in the house it was impossible to sleep. Soda and Steve were harassing Pony, I heard their steps as they chased him around the living room, Darry yelling at them to leave him alone. Two bit soon joined in the chase however and Darry had no chance in hell to stop them. I sighed knowing that I wouldn't get any more sleep and walked out into the living room. They were all laying in a heap on the floor wrestling. Darry was standing to the side shaking his head slowly as he snickered.

"That's enough" he said dragging Steve up by the collar of his shirt. Then he left for the kitchen. They all stood up, flustered, laughing like maniacs.

"Nora, where have you been hiding?" Steve asked when he saw me. He walked up to me grinning, throwing his arm around me. I grunted and wiggled myself away from his grip.

"Ah, sleeping beauty has just awoken" He said smiling wickedly. Pony and Soda chuckled as they sat down on the couch.

"You're the worst morning person ever, and it ain't even morning!" Two bit said trying in vain to control his laughter as it bubbled from his mouth. I grunted again and rubbed my eyes trying to wake up.

"Any of you guys wanna go to the race tonight?" Soda asked looking at us his eyes beaming. He loved drag racing; he loved anything that was a competition. But I knew it wasn't just that, it was the speed and the excitement too.

Pony said he had too much homework and Darry didn't want to come.

"Sure" Steve said fingering at a purple bruise on his cheek.

"Yeah, there will be booze, right?" Two bit said cocking an eyebrow, laughing.

"Yeah, I'll come too" I said thinking that Shepard would be there; I didn't really know what to think of him, or about me when I was around him. I suddenly remembered that warm feeling I had had when I watched him laugh and for just a second I got this weird felling of realization. Only thing was I couldn't grasp what it was that I realized, I thought about it for some time but when I still didn't get it, I just shrugged it off.

**This was a hard one to write, hope you enjoy it! Please read and review!**


	12. Drag racing

When we reached the street where the race was taking place, I was half laying in the backseat with Steve, we were laughing about some stupid joke Two bit had told. Soda sat up front shaking and pounding on Two bits arm so that he kept losing control over the steering, which only made us laugh harder and the car kept swaying on the road. Two bit was laughing too which didn't really help the driving either, plus he, Steve and me had been drinking quite a bit before we left.

I felt good as I laid there looking up at the city lights, I felt alive. I looked over at Steve and saw his face relaxed with laughter, his eyes sparkling in the darkness, I felt happy seeing him like that and I threw my head in his lap looking up at him. He smiled down at me, taking a swig from the bottle of gin the three of us shared. It was times like that when I knew why he was my best friend.

Suddenly the car came to a halt and we got out. I looked around me and saw about three other cars further down the road. I wasn't really drunk but I felt kind of dizzy as I stood there so I leaned back against the car trying to catch some fresh air. Steve and Soda had run of to talk to some greasers who were hanging on one of the cars, probably fixing a race. Two bit stood next to me plying absentmindedly with his blade, but when a blonde girl walked by he immediately ran after her tapping her on her shoulder. I laughed hoping she wouldn't be too hard on him, but she wasn't she actually smiled at him and they walked of.

Soon Soda came up to me again his whole face beaming with happiness.

"You wanna race?" he asked smiling at me, he pointed to the guys Steve was talking to saying; "We're gonna race them" he grinned evilly. I shaked my head no, I didn't really feel like racing, I felt more like drinking.

"You race for money?" I asked knowing Darry wouldn't really like that, but I did because I knew Soda would win, he always won.

"Yeah" he said getting in the car. I pushed myself off of the car and motioned for Steve to come over. When he had gotten in the car they drove up next to the other car.

I looked around me for awhile, trying to find someone I knew. I didn't find anyone though, I recognized some guys from Brumly and a couple of guys from Shepard's gang, but there were no one I actually knew. Two bit was god-knows-where doing god-knows but I-really-didn't-want-to-know what. We were on a deserted road in the outskirts of town so it was quite dark and except for us greasers it was empty. The races used to be downtown, but since the fuzz always showed up they moved them here, where we could party long after the races were over without being disturbed.

"Hey Nora" I suddenly heard someone call out to me and as I located where it came from I saw Shepard getting out of one of the cars. When he saw that I had noticed him he walked over to me, that's when I saw a girl getting out of the car right behind him. She fixed her eyes on his back as he walked towards me, looking pissed. Shepard had a bottle in his right hand and a cigarette in his left and when he stopped in front of me he tossed the cigarette away. He fixed his eyes on mine and smiled at me, his blue eyes reflecting in the street lamps, I could tell he had been drinking, but he wasn't really drunk.

"Your brothers racing?" he asked as he took a step towards me casually throwing his arm around my shoulders. His arm felt warm through the shirt fabric and I felt his body against my side. He held the bottle up to me offering it to me.

"Soda and Steve are, you?" I said taking a swig from the bottle, feeling my throat burn and my stomach become warm. I could hear Shepard's soft chuckle in my ear and I felt myself shiver a little at the feeling of him being so close.

"Have been" he said taking the bottle I was passing over to him "Didn't know you Curtis' had it in you to drink whiskey"

I tilted my head up to look at him and saw him smirking down at me, his face only inches from mine.

"Dallas taught me" I answered smiling at the memory. Shepard was looking at me his eyes fixed on mine, he wasn't smiling anymore, he just watched me his face expressionless.

"Good old Dally" he said as he turned his gaze away, a hard and bitter smile on his face. He took a long swig of the whiskey and then wiped his mouth on his shirt arm. I felt this sudden urge to touch him but I pressed it aside and reached for the bottle, Shepard gave it to me saying it was empty so I threw it to the side of the road.

"Want more?" he asked smirking at me, his lips curving slightly. I just nodded and he removed his arm from my shoulders. I felt myself draw a shaky breath which sounded more like a deep sigh, whether it was from relief or regret I didn't know. I did know that I felt cold without the warmth from his body next to me and I couldn't help but shiver slightly. When he noticed he took my hand in his and started to drag me off.

"I have more whiskey in my car" he said walking towards the car where a bunch of greasers were hanging. I noticed that the girl who had been in the car with Shepard was sitting on the hood flirting with some of the guys. When she saw us walk over she shot me a dirty look. I felt Shepard tense up when he noticed her, his grip on my hand becoming firmer then before. He ignored her looks though and continued to walk towards the car, when we reached it he motioned for me to sit on the hood next to that girl. She looked at me curiously but with an evil glare. Shepard had disappeared and I was alone with a gang of greasers I didn't know and when I looked at them I felt like I really didn't want to know them either. Darry's words kept spinning in my mind. "He ain't like us…" I felt more drunk then dizzy suddenly.

"Your brother's the one who works at the DX?" that girl suddenly asked looking at me with a bored expression. I felt like strangling hear as I watched her vacant expression.

"Yeah, Soda" I answered smiling at Shepard as I saw him stand in front of me again; he had a bottle of whiskey in his hand. He moved closer until he was standing between my legs, his chest almost touching mine. He reached around me and placed the bottle behind my back. He didn't remove his hands tough instead he put them on my hips and leaned in his lips touching my cheek lightly as he whispered in my ear;

"Wanna go home with me Nora?" his voice was raspy from the whiskey and I felt a shiver run down my spine as I heard it. I didn't know what to say, I didn't even know what I wanted, I was too drunk, so I just laughed and put my hands on his shoulders, resting my forehead against his collar-bone. I heard that girl snort and jump off of the car, stomping off. And I heard some of the guys laugh at her.

Shepard smelled like whiskey, cigarettes and hair grease, it was a warm smell and as I rested my head I could hear him breathing slowly.

I felt Shepard pull away from me suddenly, moving himself to stand beside me and as I looked up I saw Two bit walking towards us.

"You guys at it again?" he asked grinning like a fool. Shepard laughed and offered him some whiskey.

"Soda was looking for you" he told me between swigs "told him I thought I knew where you were" he was smiling widely now "wanna know if you're coming home now?"

"Nah, I'm going home with Tim" I said surprising both myself and them. Two bit didn't look as surprised as I felt though, he just smiled and shaked his head, Shepard looked at me smirking confidently, his eyesdark and hazy.

"Suit your self" Two bit said giving me an amused and curios look that also clearly told me to be careful and then he walked off laughing.

"Wait Two bit!" I called to him, when he turned around I asked; "Did they win?" He just nodded grinning and kept walking.

"So, where were we" I said smiling as I jumped off of the car and moved to stand in front of Shepard. He looked down at me, his eyes glimmering as he wrapped his arms around my waist moving me closer to him. His body was pressed against mine firmly and I let my hands wander up his arms to rest around his neck. His hair was soft and I couldn't stop myself from running my fingers through it. He was standing completely still as I reached up, my lips almost touching his. He smirked at me and moved one of his hands up to my neck holding my head firmly as he kissed me forcefully.

**Hope you like it as much as I liked writing it! Tack så mycket!**


	13. Shepards house

The house was completely silent as Tim led me upstairs to his room. He didn't make any effort to be quiet as he slammed his door shut behind us. I looked around me as he took his shirt off and tossed it on a chair next to him. His room was lit up by the moonlight that flowed in from his window, there was a bed, next to it a small table, on it an ashtray, some papers and a knife, right next to the door was a closet and opposite it the chair where he had put his shirt, on the floor next to it was a record player, around it some records were scattered. His walls were completely empty except for a couple of fist sized holes. I noticed a book lying on his bed and went over to see what book it was; I was curios to know what kind of books Tim Shepard would read, I hadn't really thought he read at all. As I was about to grab the book Tim came up behind me his hands on my shoulders. I felt his hot breath against my neck as his hands wandered down my arms. I shuddered at the feeling of his warm strong hands on my body and as he kissed my neck I felt myself melting away.

All rational thoughts were gone from my mind as he was lying on top of me on the bed, his lips and tongue exploring my neck and shoulders, his arms under me around my waist, pressing his body against mine. As I felt his hands unbuttoning my blouse my confused mind wondered if this was such a good idea after all. I drew a shaky breath as his hands brushed against my breasts.

"What are you doing?" I whispered smiling, my voice hoarse. I felt too drunk to even care if it was a good idea or not, anyways it felt good and that was all that mattered for now.

"Whatever you want me to doll" Tim murmured against the nape of my neck. His breath against my skin when he spoke sent a shiver down my spine and I felt myself give in to the feeling of his hard body so close to mine.

I woke up from the sound of screaming and shouting and as I shifted in the bed I heard Tim mutter something under his breath next to me. I felt him sit up in the bed and as I turned around he had put on a pair of boxers and was heading out the door. I could locate the shouting as coming from downstairs but I couldn't make out what they were yelling, it was a male and a female arguing. I figured it was his parents. I heard Tim tramping down the stairs shouting;

"Will you shut the fuck up!" But it didn't help, the arguing only increased as Tim joined in the fight. I could make out the woman's voice as she started to yell in what sounded like Spanish.

"Shut up!" I heard Angela shout at the top of her lungs from just outside Tim's door, she must have been standing at the top of the stairs.

"Go back to bed Angie!" Tim screamed back at her over the sound of the other two's loud arguing. I heard Angela's sour cursing as she walked back to her room. Tim jumped back in the fight again and then I heard a dull throb and the man's laughing grimly. After a moment of silenceI heard Tim hissing something in a threatening voice. I sat up in bed and pulled the covers up around me as Tim walked in swearing under his breath, he slammed the door shut and walked over and sat down next to me. He was holding at his forehead and as he removed his hand a small trickle of blood ran down from the eyebrow he had cut open in the fight with Casey.

"Fuck" he said and wiped it off on his forearm. He leaned back against the wall, resting his arms on his legs.

"You ok?" I asked as I watched his bruised face in the darkness. He frowned, his lips in a grim smirk.

"Sleep" he said to me more a command then a request. I didn't think it was a good time to argue with him since he looked like he wanted to hurt someone, so I laid down in bed and he moved over to lie down next to me. I turned over to look at him; he was lying on his back an arm flung over his eyes. The moonlight cast shadows over his face, making his skin look darker. He looked like a real hood lying there, his face all black and blue, that scornful smirk on his lips, he looked grim and mean. As I watched him I began to think about what I was really doing in bed with a criminal like him, pictures of Darry as he yelled at me for getting a ride with him flied around in my head, what would he do to me when I got home tomorrow? I shuddered at the thought and suddenly I felt so tiered and hung-over, my head was throbbing and I couldn't keep my eyes open anymore.

I was half sleeping as I felt the sun stream in from the window, my head was hurting and I felt like digging myself a hole in the dark, cool ground and sleep it off there. I heard Tim sigh deeply behind my as he buried his head in my hair and pulled me to him, pulling the covers over us to keep the light out. His body was warm against my back, his chest so close that I could feel him breathing. I tried to stifle a giggle as his breath made my hair move slightly to tickle my ear. He groaned at the sound and rolled over to his back.

"It's late, you should get going" he said as he got out of bed. I felt my heart sink as I laid completely still, the covers still over my head. I heard him move around in the room as he got dressed. Then it was quiet for a while and I felt his intense stare on my back, he moved over to the bed and leaned over me.

"Come on, Darry'll kill you, not to mention me if you miss school" he said and pulled the covers from my face, I rolled over on my back and looked up at him. He was standing over me, an unlit cigarette in his mouth. The cut in his eyebrow was much deeper then it had looked yesterday, it would probably leave a scar I thought. He moved away and I sat up thinking about school as I pulled my clothes on. I had totally forgotten that it was a school day; I really didn't feel like school, my head felt like it was filled with cotton, cotton that kept pounding on my brain. When I was done dressing I looked up to find Tim studying me, he smirked smugly at me as his eyes met mine.

"Ready?" he asked as he opened the door for me to walk out. As we walked trough the living room Tim picked up an empty bottle that was lying on the floor and threw it across the room cursing under his breath, it smashed against the wall, small pieces flying in the air. Just when we were about to walk out the door a small voice called out;

"Timothy" Tim stiffened at the sound and turned around slowly. I turned too and came face to face with a small black haired woman. She looked exactly like Angela except for all her features being older and softer then Angela's. She moved closer to Tim not even giving me a glance. She reached her hand out to touch the cut in his eyebrow but he flinched away drawling something in Spanish at her, she answered and reached her hand out once more, a begging stroke to her voice. Tim glared at her and grabbing my arm he pushed me outside.

"Fuck off" he said to the woman as he slammed the door in her face. I heard her still calling out to him from the other side of the door as we walked over to his car.

I looked over at him as he was driving down the street, he's face was hard and his eyes watched the other cars coldly, when he noticed me looking at him he turned to me smiling slightly but his eyes remained cold.

"Your mom's Spanish?" I asked curiously. He chuckled softly saying;

"Puerto Rican" he slammed the brakes when a man walked out in the street in front of the car, he cursed him loudly, making gestures to show what he thought of him. As soon as the man had passed the car Tim stepped on the gas and we were of again.

**Thanks for all the reviews! Sorry it took a little longer then normal to update this time, had some problems with Tim, I don't want to make him too soft. Hope you think I keep him in character. Anyway, Tack och hej!**


	14. Scolded and confused

I was walking home from school, practically dragging my legs behind me. My hangover was almost gone and as I was able to make my brain think again fear of Darry made me not want to go home. I knew I had no choice of course, but I really wasn't looking forward to meeting my brothers, especially not Darry. I had managed not to meet neither Pony nor Steve at school, Two bit I had seen, he waved to me from across the hallway when I was on my way to class, his face grinning as usual. I carefully avoided looking at him not wanting him to say anything about Tim to me, as my hangover decreased I started to think about what I had done with him. I couldn't say that I really regretted it, but I felt stupid somehow, I mean it wasn't like I was in love with him, I didn't even really know him. Sure, I wasn't the chastest girl in town but I normally didn't go home with just anyone. Then again Tim wasn't just anyone; he was Tim Shepard, the coldest most badassed hood in Tulsa. I mentally slapped myself for being so stupid, all he had have to do was look at me and give the faintest resemblance of a smile and I was drooling all over him.

I sighed as I heard Two bit and Pony laughing in the living room when I walked in. As soon as I had closed the door Darry was standing in the kitchen door, a kitchen towel in on hand the other on his hip. I didn't want to meet his eyes; I could feel his stare piercing straight trough me, his fury bouncing of the walls.

"So you know your way home after all" he stated, his voice cold as ice. I flinched inside but stood still as he kept staring at me.

"Look Darry" I said trying to sound more confident then I felt "I told Soda where I was, so you really have no right…" Darry took one threatening step towards me as he dropped the towel on the floor and I backed up against the wall not able to continue.

"I have every right" he shouted, his face only inches from mine, I heard Two bit and Pony fall silent in the living room. I looked up at Darry reluctantly, his eyes meeting mine. In them I could see a mix of anger, worry, an unnerving calm and even scorn. He stared at me for a short moment as if he were measuring me then he backed away, his arms flying in the air.

"Tim Shepard!" he hissed at me "Nora for heavens sakes, it's Tim Shepard!" his eyes were boring holes into my skull. Somehow I felt myself get pissed at that, a while ago I had wondered myself what I had been doing with him but now I felt like I needed to defend him to my brother.

"So?" I asked fixing my eyes firmly on Darry's "Isn't he good enough for you Darrel?" I spat out taking a step towards him. He glared at me and stood his ground, his fist clenched at his sides.

"He's a criminal Nora!" I felt the words on my tongue melt away and I stood mouth gaping, still as a statue, feeling my heart turn to stone. I knew Darry was right, he was a criminal and not just a thief like Two bit, he was a real criminal, God knows what he had done in the past.

"So was Dallas" I said slowly as I glared at my older brother coldly. His shoulders heaved as he sighed loudly. He didn't answer me as he bent down to pick the towel up and walked away from me in to the kitchen.

I stayed in my room the rest of the night, listening to my brothers and Steve and Two bit as they were playing poker and laughing. I felt disappointed that none of them had come into my room to talk to me; they hadn't even called me out to dinner. I heard Soda laugh loudly and I felt a pang of loneliness in my heart when I thought about him being mad at me. He had never been mad at me for as long as I could remember, he was almost never mad at anyone.

When the house was silent and everyone had gone to bed or gone home I walked out on the porch to smoke. I stood leaning against the rail, looking out at our small yard. It was a cold night and I shivered as the wind caught my hair. Suddenly I heard the door open and I felt someone walk up to me, I didn't turn to see who it was, it wasn't necessary.

"Look Nora, I ain't mad at you" I heard Soda sigh as he leaned over his hands gripping the rail "I mean you can't help the way you feel" I exhaled relieved that he was even talking to me and thrilled that he wasn't mad. "It's just that you could have told me where you went, instead of sending Two bit" He turned to me and smiled slightly.

"I know" I said wanting desperately to be ok with him again "I wasn't thinking" I thought about all the times Darry had said exactly those words to Pony and now it seemed that it was me who always was on his bad side.

"Look just think about it in the future" Soda sighed as he walked back to the door "We were worried you know" I nodded silently as I heard him open the door and walk in. As the door closed I felt I tear run down my cheek, I didn't know if it was from being happy about Soda not being mad at me or if it was from being tiered of this whole situation.

"Tim Shepard!" The scorn in Darry's voice as he said that was ringing in my head. He was right about Tim being a criminal and all but still he was just a boy. He wasn't that different from any other greaser, wasn't that different from my brothers and friends. I thought about Dally's coldness and Steve's anger knowing enough about their lives to know why they were like that. Maybe there was a reason why Tim was the way he was too, maybe he was that cold and hard for a reason resembling theirs. He never had any older siblings to take care of him like me, Pony and Soda and apparently he didn't have a very good relationship with his parents either. I thought about the cut in his eyebrow and wondered whether it was his mother or father that had hit him, I couldn't help wondering why he hadn't fought back. I thought about Darry and realized that maybe his life wasn't the perfect one but at least our parents had never hit us, they never came home in the middle of the night screaming and shouting. It really wasn't fair to compare them; they were nothing alike, both hard as nails but for very different reasons and in very different ways. I sighed not wanting to think about Tim anymore. I was so confused about the whole thing, so sick of feeling that way, sick of that throbbing sensation in my stomach whenever I though of him. I tossed my cigarette away and walked in the house again.

**I'm glad you guys like this story, this chapter is a bit short but I hope you get the picture! Tack**


	15. Darry and the Shepards

The next three days I spent mostly by myself. I did what I should, went to school, got home in time, did my chores but it was all quiet and boring. I didn't talk to anyone that much, or more correctly no one talked to me. Darry was pretty much giving me the silent treatment, Pony didn't say much he just looked at me when he thought I didn't see it, Soda tried to act normal but since nothing was normal he was more silent that usual, his eyes worried, Steve kept glaring at me and Two bit seemed very interested in the TV which he kept watching while mumbling to himself and laughing quietly as to not disturb the pressing silence. It was ok in the beginning, because the silence gave me time to think but once I realized I couldn't get any clarity in my thoughts the silence just stressed me out. I became more and more irritated by their reaction, they had no right to treat me like that, I was old enough to make my own decisions, I knew of course as well as them that sleeping with Shepard wasn't the best decision I'd made, but still it was my decision not theirs.

As I walked in the living room that night Darry, Soda and Steve were watching TV, Pony sat at the table reading. None of them looked up at me as I entered but I knew they had registered my presence. I coughed to get their attention and when they were looking at me, Darry tiredly, Steve angrily, Pony curiously and Soda smiling sadly, I said;

"Look guys, I've said I was sorry…" I didn't get any further because Darry rose from the couch and walked over to me his arms folded.

"Actually you didn't" he said as he looked at me, he didn't seem angry anymore he just looked sad and tired.

"Oh…" was all I could say as I realized he was right, I had only apologised to Soda. Steve was glaring daggers at me from the couch an evil smirk on his lips and I felt anger bubble up inside of me as I watched him. I turned to Darry again.

"I'm sorry, I thought I did" I took a step towards him and he looked up and I saw all the anger melt away from his eyes. Suddenly I felt something heavy jump on me and as I tumbled to the floor I saw Soda grinning madly at me. When I was lying on my back, Soda sitting on top of me I looked up to see Darry standing over us laughing heartedly, Pony stood next to him grinning down at us. Steve was still on the couch but through his anger I could see a small smile creeping up on his lips.

"Hey Nora" I heard someone call me and as I turned around Angela was leaning against a locker, chewing on a bubblegum. I walked over to her wondering what she wanted, probably something about Pony I thought.

"So I heard your brothers weren't too happy" she stated with a slight smirk.

"About what?" I answered with a bored expression, that was the only way to talk to Angela; you had to sink to her level.

"Tim of course" she said smiling wickedly. "He was at our house some days ago" she tried to look bored but I could tell she was enjoying it, God, she really loved being the bringer of bad news I thought as I watched her chewing loudly "the big one" she added. Darry was at their house I thought, why the hell would he be going to see the Shepards?

"Talked to Tim" she said smiling at me like a perfect porcelain doll. I felt myself grow angry, my fist clenched unintentionally and I felt like hitting something, preferably my brother. Just when we were getting along again I find out he pulled something like that, what the hell had he been telling Shepard anyway? As I looked up I saw Angela looking at me curiously, her mouth a bit open, she had stopped chewing and her eyes kept blinking. I just looked back at her commanding and she shook her head saying;

"I don't know what they were talking about, but Tim sure looked pissed the rest of the night" she snickered while nodding to herself. I felt so frustrated as I watched her, I felt like making her nose bleed just because she was enjoying telling me this. I soon calmed down however and the only person I felt like making bleed was Darry. What had he said to Tim anyway? Probably told him to stay away from me, like that would make any difference to Tim anyway, he had gotten what he wanted why would he be anywhere near me now. I walked away from Angela without even looking at her and just walked out of school and down the road and I kept walking till I was at the DX.

"Hi Nora, you not in school?" Soda asked me with a smile as he saw me walking up to him. I shook my head at his question forming one of my own in my mind.

"Why was Darry talking with Shepard?" I asked fixing my eyes on his, he meet my stare with sad eyes.

"Look, he's just trying to protect you…"

"I don't need protection!" I spat out feeling my heart beating fast with anger. Soda sighed and reached his hand out to me touching my arm lightly.

"I don't know what he was saying to him, but I don't think it went that well, he was kind of pissed when he came home" I felt strangely content at hearing that.

"I tried to tell him not to interfere but you know how Darry gets when it comes to you and Pony" Soda sighed again and smiled slightly and I returned his smile, reassuring him that I wasn't mad at him.

"Yeah, well I should go again" I said as I saw Steve coming out of the small building, I didn't feel like being confronted with his angry stare, I was pissed enough as it was.

As I was walking home it started to rain, I didn't notice it that much tough I was too angry. I was kicking a rock in front of me when I felt something behind me and when I turned around I saw a black car following me slowly, when turned around again it drove up next to me. I began to feel scared now and quickened up my pace but the car kept following me and the suddenly it drove off but a bit down the road it stopped and someone walked out.

"I thought you said you weren't scared of me" Tim was leaning against the open car door grinning widely at me. He motioned for me to hop in the car and I did, the rain had soaked my clothes right through and I felt cold.

"So…" he said as we drove of "…why are you walking around in the rain?" He looked at me his eyes jet-black. His face was back to normal again, the bruises had paled and the small cuts had healed, the only thing that remained was that cut in his eyebrow. My eyes wandered down to his hands, most of his busted knuckles had healed some were still a bit red. I snapped my eyes up again.

"Did you have a nice chat with Darry?" I spat out, I didn't even know why I was taking it out on him, maybe because he was acting like nothing had happened. Tim looked at me his eyes fiery, his lips in an evil smirk.

"What did he say?" I asked even angrier with him now that he didn't answer me. Tim turned his face towards me once more, his eyes was cold and cunning and he smirked at me, his lips slightly curving to show his teeth, I drew back in my seat. He was scary when he looked like that, like a spitting wild cat. He gave a low chuckle at my reaction and snarled;

"Why don't you ask him" I didn't answer him, I felt so small suddenly. Besides it wasn't him I was angry with or at least I tried to convince myself of that as I looked out the window. None of us said anything until he pulled up in front of my house.

"Thanks for the ride" I said quietly as I opened the door, I didn't dare to look at him, I could feel his anger hanging in the air. Just when I was about to get out I felt his hand on my arm.

"Nora…" he said and as I turned around he let go of my arm and looked through the window "…he's just acting his role"

I felt something stir in my mind as I heard him say that, he may be a good-for-nothing hood but he was a smart good-for-nothing hood. I was still angry with Darry but after hearing Tim say that I knew that that was just it, he was doing what he thought he should do, what he thought was his job to do. So I decided not to make a big fuss about it, after all it hadn't hurt anyone. Tim didn't seem upset about it and he was still talking to me so obviously he hadn't listened to him. I smiled feeling happy for the first time since the night of the drag race as I walked up the stairs to our house.

**Hope you like it, if Nora doesn't make any sense that's because she is confused... Read and review! Tack**


	16. Curly's out

Pony slammed the door shut behind him as he walked in the house. I knew it was him because it was only 15.30 in the afternoon, so the others were working and I knew Two bit had to baby sit his little sister, plus Pony has a tendency to slam doors. He walked in to my room and flung himself on my bed staring up at the ceiling.

"The strangest thing happened today…" he said thoughtfully and a little confused "…by the way Curly´s out…"

"Already?" I asked thinking time had really run away, five months already since he robbed that store, five months since Johnny and Dally died. I realized I hadn't thought about neither of them in a couple of days and somehow that made me happy, because that meant it would get easier with time. Easier to remember without being sad and easier to live normally. Pony didn't answer me, it wasn't a question anyways. He was running his hand trough his hair as he studied the ceiling.

"What was the strange thing Pony?" He looked at me and smiled.

"Angela Shepard walked up to me and invited me to a party tomorrow night" he said looking like he couldn't believe it. I don't know how he could have missed all her hints but apparently he had because he was really surprised.

"That's great!" I said, looking at his serious face I added "Ain't it?" He smiled uncertainly and nodded slowly. "You're going, right?" I asked him hoping he would say yes. I mean I don't think Angela is the best girl for Pony but she's ok, she's fun and she's one of us. He needed to have a good time and Angela was good at having a good time.

"Yeah I guess, Mark's probably going to…" he said "…anyways, it will be good to see Curly again" Curly and Pony had always been friend, not close friends but they had a good time together. Curly could always get him to loosen up and I thought that was good. Darry didn't though. "You going too?" He asked me looking at me with a curious smile.

"Nah" I answered simply. I hadn't talked to any of the Shepards since Tim drove me home a couple of days ago and I didn't like the idea of going to a party I wasn't invited to. I knew most of the people at these parties weren't invited but I wanted to be. Especially when it was at his house.

"Why?" Pony asked me his head hanging of the bed; I shrugged not really wanting to talk about it. "Angela told me to tell you to come" he added and smiled at my surprised expression. "You friends?"

"Nah, not really" I said "But she's a nice girl" I said that mostly because I really wanted Pony to have a good time with her. I understood perfectly well why she had invited me, she knew me and Pony were close and if she was on my good side she was on his too. Then again maybe she just liked me, maybe everything she did wasn't that calculated.

"So you'll go with me?" Pony asked looking at me pleadingly. I laughed; he had definitely learned that from Soda.

The next night I found myself at the Shepard family's house. Their house was even crappier then ours, at least we tried to fix it up the best we could. As I walked in the house I noticed that everything that could possibly be broken was, like the mirror in the hall that was all cracked, beside it a hole the size of a fist. In the living room the carpet was worn out and had cigarette burns on it, the furniture were worn and some broken. I wondered why I hadn't noticed last time I was here.

Mark looked around the room exited; he was like a puppy in a leash who just wanted to run around freely. Pony was standing next to him looking around curiously. I could see that they wanted to go talk to their friends, Mark was already walking over to a guy I knew was called Terry. Curly wasn't around and I knew Pony wanted to go find him.

"Go on, I'll go grab a beer in the kitchen" I told Pony motioning for him to follow Mark.

"You sure?" he asked.

"Yeah" I said smiling and patting his shoulder. He looked undecided for a second then shrugged his shoulders and made his way trough the crowd.

I walked to the kitchen hoping there weren't as many people there as in the living room, plus I was thirsty. When I got there it was empty, it was just me and a fridge full of beer. I grabbed a beer and stood leaning against the counter drinking it when Tim walked in.

He nodded at me and made his way to the fridge getting himself a beer.

He stood by the fridge drinking and looking at me not saying a word, his eyes cunning, I could feel his eyes piercing trough mine. What did he look at? It felt quite unnerving him looking at me like that so I felt I had to say something.

"Nice party"

He didn't answer though, but continued to stare at me, he was really scaring me now, he must have noticed because suddenly he looked way from me and out the door to the living room.

"Want a drink Curtis?" he asked walking past me to grab a bottle next to me on the counter. I didn't have time to answer because this blond greaser girl walked in and up to Shepard and threw her arms around his waist. She looked familiar somehow.

"There you are Tim, I've been looking all over for you, come on and have some fun with me baby" she said looking up at Shepard who just stood there letting her cling to him. He looked down at her face and I saw something in his eyes I would have never thought him capable of, pity. He looked sad for this girl.

"Sylvia, I don't think so doll, but Kevin has been looking at you all night" he said and then it hit me why she looked familiar, she had been Dally´s girlfriend.

"Really?" she said her whole face beaming up at Shepard and when he nodded she smiled and walked out of the kitchen, probably to find this Kevin guy.

I watched Shepard look at her back when she left, his eyes sad but when he turned around and looked at me his eyes were back to their normal cold, emotionless glare.

"I need a drink" he said "you want one?"

"Sure" I said placing my empty beer bottle on the counter.

"Here" Shepard said holding out a glass of whiskey to me. I took it and downed it feeling the familiar burning sensation in my throat and stomach.

"So, Curly's out" I said smiling at him.

"Yeah, that little son of a bitch" He answered grinning, he chuckled after some more cursing about his brother saying;

"He'll probably go back soon though" he was shaking his head slightly "He just doesn't use his head" I almost laughed out loud as he said that, the resemblance with Darry talking about Pony was striking. Tim didn't see me trying to control my laugher as he had turned around.

He started to pour more whiskey in our glasses when Angela walked in.

"Tim, what the fuck's wrong with mom? She won't wake up" she said locking angrily at her brother.

"How the fuck am I supposed to know Angie, she's probably drunk" he gave her an annoyed glare. "What do you want with her anyway?" he asked looking both pissed and curious at the same time.

"None of your god damned business Tim" she stared at him for awhile then turned to me smiling a pretty doll like smile. "Hi Nora"

"Hi"

"Anyway Tim, just go fucking wake her up!" she demanded giving her brother at hateful glare.

"Angela, just get this straight once and for all, I will not take orders from you, and I won't help you with your pathetic little womanly problems, now get out!" He said this slouching down so that he was looking her in the eyes; his voice was low and calm. Not once did he raise his voice, he didn't have to, the way he was talking there was no arguing.

Angela glared at him for a few seconds then gave up and left.

Shepard turned around and continued to pour whiskey in our glasses. He was smiling slightly his lips parting to show of a tiny bit of his teeth and looked lost in thoughts.

"Here, you could probably use this after hearing Angie's lovely voice" he said sarcastically giving me my glass.

I looked at his profile trying to figure out what he was thinking, but I couldn't. His jaws were clenched, his eyebrows like sharp black lines on his face. I wondered what was going on with his mother; I hoped it wasn't anything serious. Pictures of my own mother popped up in my mind, her smiling face her blond hair bouncing as she laughed softly. I felt myself draw a sharp breath as I saw her dead face, white as snow as she was laying in her coffin at the funeral her hands clenching a white rose tightly.

"The drink too strong for you Curtis?" Tim asked me smirking and I smiled at him thankful he had made the pictures go away. He looked at me his eyes glimmering and moved closer to me. I felt my heart staring to beat rapidly, my blood was rushing through my body and I felt my face turning red.

"If it ain't the one and only Curtis sister!" I heard from the door and as I looked over I saw Curly standing there. He looked like I remembered him only his hair was shorter, he looked a lot like Tim, but his features were softer and his eyes a slight bit bluer than Tim's.

Tim had moved away from me and was now pouring more whiskey in his glass while he glared at his brother. Curly didn't notice the looks his older brother was giving him and walked up to me throwing his arm around my shoulder. He had always been like that, always hugging and flirting. I knew it didn't mean anything so I let him do it.

As I looked over to where Tim had been standing I noticed he was not there anymore, when my eyes moved over the kitchen I noticed he was walking out in the living room the whiskey bottle in one hand and his glass in the other.

**So sorry it took so long for me to update this, I have been studiying. Thanks for all the reviews, I'm so happy you like it! Tack**


	17. Mothers and fathers

After I had been drinking and talking to Curly for about an hour, listening to all his stories about the reformatory, most of them probably so exaggerated that it was almost lying, I stepped out on their porch to get some air. I had been drinking quite a lot and I felt a bit woozy, my feet didn't want to follow my brain as I stumbled out. I gripped the railing and leaned my elbows against it. I breathed in deeply trying to will the sick feeling in my stomach away. I didn't realize I wasn't alone out there until I saw a light in the dark. It was Tim sitting on the stairs lighting a cigarette. He was kind of swaying as he sat there. I was strangely glad at finding him to be just as drunk as me.

"Can I bum a smoke?" I asked and sat down next to him, he looked at me with glazed eyes smiling when he recognised me and handed me his cigarette.

"That's my last" he said. I gave it back to him after taking a long drag.

"Gonna have to swipe some more tomorrow" he grinned and I laughed not really knowing why I thought that was funny.

"You know your brother is sick…" I said chuckling at the thought of Curly's crazy stories "…but he's funny" Tim looked at the sky for awhile then said;

"Sure is a strange bird that kid, you ever read Mice and men?" He looked at my face but didn't meet my eyes "He's like that guy, he means well but he's just to rough, but I guess that's my fault" I smiled at the comparison but I had to agree with him. Who would have thought Tim would read that kind of book?

"You read much?"

"Nah, I don't really have the time to read" he said " to busy trying to keep the guy's out of the cooler" He sighed and put the cigarette out with his foot.

"You been there a lot" I said more a statement then a question.

"First time I was twelve, I stole booze for my father and that bastard didn't even bail me out, I had to sit there for four days before my mother realized I was missing" his voice was bitter and cold but he smiled widely like it was a funny story.

"Your father didn't tell her?" I asked and he laughed for along time.

"That guy doesn't even know where his own ass is…" he said and drew a hand through his hair "...besides they never talk."

"Oh…" I said as I realized that his parents wasn't living together "…who is that guy that lives with your mother then?"

"That's the second biggest asshole in the world after my old man, Roy…" he chuckled lightly "my mother has a thing for assholes, guess that's why she lets me and Curly stay at home"

"You're not an asshole" I said watching his lips curve into a smile.

"Really?" he asked sarcastically "then you just have to wait and see" I didn't get what he meant but I just shrugged it off, my mind was too woozy to analyze anything. Suddenly I felt that I had to stand up, I had to stretch out my stomach or I would throw up.

"Your mom was nice eh?" Tim asked and stood up too "Dally always said she was nice"

"Yeah, she used to talk to him and stuff…" I said shaking my head "…I never talked to him, I never even really knew him" Tim shrugged his shoulders saying:

"Maybe he didn't have anything to say"

"Did you two talk?" I asked, adding "You and Dally" when he looked at me confused.

"Not much, but this is probably the longest conversation I've had with anybody in years" he smirked.

I felt my heart swell and I reached out and laced my fingers through his, he let me and we just stood there with our fingers intertwined for a long time looking at each other. His eyes were jet black in the darkness and glimmered as he leaned down and kissed me. His tongue was warm and soft as it flickered around mine and suddenly I was pressed hard against a tree, his hands holding at my neck. I felt a shiver run down my spine as I thought that he could easily strangle me if he wanted, he was so much stronger than me and in the position I was in I couldn't really fight back. But it wasn't a shiver from fear more from excitement. He was moving his hips against mine and it felt so good that I couldn't help moaning. I felt him smile against my lips as his hands wandered over my body. When they started to wander up my skirt I drew a sharp breath and flinched, I didn't really want him to stop but he did, his hands were off me in an instance as if he had been burned and he took a step back, breathing heavily. I stayed in place as I catched my breath missing the feel of his hands on me. He reached a hand out to me and I took it and walked out from the shadows of the tree.

"I'm too drunk I need sleep" he said as we walked up the stairs to his house. I looked up at his face, the scar a sharp white line across his cheek. I stopped walking and reached my hand up to touch it, it was soft underneath my fingers. Tim took a sharp breath and clenched his jaws but didn't push my hand away.

"How did you get it?" He looked down at me and put his hands in his pockets.

"My old man" he said his eyes flashing.

"Darry said it was a tramp" the words were out before I had time to realize I had said them.

"It was" he stated bitterly. My head was spinning, his father was a tramp? Tim had started walking again and was already inside before I had even walked up the five steps of the stairs.

**Hope you like it, I'm not gonna make it easy for them so there will be a lot of misunderstandings and stuff between them while they get to know each other. Tack för alla reviews!**


	18. Taking a drive

A couple of days later I was sitting in the kitchen reading the newspaper when the phone rang, it was only me and Pony home and he was in his room doing something so I picked it up. I had been asking Pony what he thought of Angela and he had just shrugged and said she was ok so I figured he wasn't interested in her. But I wasn't entirely sure, he could be quite secretive when he wanted to, I think he talked more about these things with Soda then with me.

"Yeah it's Nora" I drawled thinking it would be Steve or Two bit.

"Hi, it's Tim" I heard a dark voice say and I felt my heart starting to beat rapidly in my chest. "How're you doing?"

"I'm ok, you?" I answered wondering why he was calling.

"Fine" he said and cleared his throat before he continued "Your brothers home?" I felt myself draw a breath as I realized he probably wanted to talk to Darry about something.

"Only Pony" He went silent for a while.

"So you wanna go for a ride?" he asked his voice calm and even. I felt my heart skip a beat.

"Sure" I said before I had even had the time to think about it. He told me he'd come by and pick me up and then he hung up without even saying goodbye. I stood with the receiver in my hand for a while trying to collect my thoughts which were scattered all over, I thought of the feeling of Tim's lips on mine, the look in his eyes when he told me about his scar, the way he had just left me on the lawn when he went inside, and I thought about the scorn in Darry's eyes when he talked about Tim, but mostly I thought about that throbbing feeling in my stomach that I felt whenever Tim was around me. I hadn't liked that feeling at first, I was scared of it but now it was like a drug, that nervous ache was addicting.

I walked in to Pony's room where he was lying on the bed reading. I sat down next to him and tilted the book up so I could read the title.

"That's a good one" I told him pointing at the book, he just murmured something back to me. I heard a soft knock on our front door and then the door opened.

"Hello" I heard Tim say from the hall. Pony looked up at me with a teasing smile as he cocked an eyebrow.

"I'm gonna go out for a while" I said as I tried to ignore his looks.

"With Shepard?" he asked his voice laced with mirth. I just ignored him and walked out.

Tim was standing at the front door with his hands in his pockets and when he saw me he held the door open for me, his face totally blank. I hated when his face was blank and emotionless, I hated not being able to know what he was thinking. He didn't say anything as he drove through the outskirts of town but when the road was surrounded by open fields he looked over at me and smiled. I watched his face as it softened by the smile and felt my heart skip a beat. I gasped for air as I realized that I liked him, I wasn't just attracted to him, I really liked him. My logical side said that I couldn't, I couldn't like a criminal like him, but the part of me that was controlled by that warm feeling off love wouldn't listen to logic.

Suddenly Tim took a left onto a small gravelled road and pulled up next to a run down house surrounded by fields. We were in the middle of nowhere and I wondered why.

"Where are we?" I asked as I got out of the car, Tim was walking up to the house and I jogged to catch up with him. He turned to me smirking but he didn't answer he just shrugged. He walked around the house where there was a small neglected garden and sat down under a large tree leaning his back against it, I stood looking out over the open fields feeling a bit uneasy, not knowing what to do, until he took my hand and dragged me down next to him. Before I even registered what happened he was kissing me, his lips moving softly over mine and I felt myself get swept away by the feeling of his warm breath and his tongue in my mouth. His fingers were already unbuttoning my blouse and soon they were on my breasts making me moan against his neck. I heard him breath heavily as I let my hands move down the front of his jeans and in an instance his hands were under my skirt. The only thing I could think at that time was that I wanted to feel him inside me.

Afterwards we sat side by side under the tree, his arm around my waist, my head resting against his shoulder. None of us were talking, we were just sitting there together and I felt totally relaxed being so close to him. I think he was relaxed to because when I let my hand wander over his face, down his cheek he leaned his head against my hand, his eyes closed.

"Why'd he do it?" I asked as my fingers ran over his scar. He opened his eyes, sighing and took my hand in his shifting me over to sit between his legs leaning against his chest.

"Cause he's a worthless bum who can't hold down neither a job nor an apartment…" he answered in a bitter voice "…he was stoned" he added putting his chin on my shoulder holding me close to him. I let my head fall back against him, my cheek against his chin. My eyes wandered over the fields as I felt his chest rise and sink as he breathed.

"Do you have another name besides Timothy?" I asked curiously. I felt him smile against my hair.

"Lucas" he answered and chuckled lightly "Mom's a catholic"

"Aren't you then?" I asked letting my hands stroke over his thighs.

"No" his voice was totally voided of any feeling.

"You know what name I've always liked?" I asked tilting my head to look at him, he shaked his head a tiny smirk on the corner of his mouth.

"Judas" I said and Tim laughed softly. I felt myself smiling at the thought that I had made him laugh.

"I always felt like Jesus fooled him, I mean he had no choice, it was his faith and Jesus knew that, that's why he let him join them in the first place" Tim was chuckling heartedly at my analyze and I broke away from his grip and turned around to look at him. He was still smiling widely at me.

"I feel kind of sorry for him; I mean he did regret it"

"You're weird" Tim said and pulled me to him again, kissing me and I felt myself smile against his mouth.

**Wasn't that cute? Hope you like it and that that explains the tramp thing, tramp as in homeless bum roaming around. Read and review! Tack**


	19. Bucks party

"When did you become so stupid Nora? I always thought you were smart…" Darry was hollering at me while slicing the beef on his plate forcefully, the end of the sentence ebbing away. I immediately knew he was talking about Tim and I glared at Pony sitting across from me wanting to know if he had told him. Pony shook his head, his eyes big.

"I didn't…" he didn't get any further before Darry found his words again.

"He didn't have to, Steve saw you drive away in his car" his voice was cold, just a slight trace of irritation and anger evident in it. Soda turned to me, his eyes showing both curiosity and worry. I felt undermined by Darry talking about me like that, especially in front of Soda and Pony. I was only happy Two bit and Steve wasn't there. Thinking of Steve pissed me of, why the hell had he told Darry anyway!

"Nora, use your head…" Darry said sighing "…he's going to hurt you" his eyes was boring into mine, worried and defeated. I felt defeated to, I had been so happy when I'd come home and now all I felt like doing was crying.

"Maybe he's not" Soda said in a weak voice and I could hear he himself didn't even believe it. He only said it to make me feel better. I didn't feel better because I knew they were right, I didn't trust Tim, I probably never would. But still I liked him, I just couldn't help it. He had somehow managed to get under my skin and now I couldn't get him out even if I wanted to. Darry had begun to clear the table and Pony excused himself going to his room, Soda got up from his place right after giving me a quick hug as he walked past me to the living room. I just sat there for a while and when I finally looked up Darry was watching me with soft eyes. I stood up and he walked to me pulling me to him, hugging me tightly whispering trough my hair;

"I'm sorry sis, I didn't mean it" That was the first time since mom and dad died that I'd heard him apologise for such a small matter and it was also the first time in a long while he didn't call me by my name. I leaned my head against his chest, taking comfort in his heartbeats.

Some hours later Two bit walked in and threw himself on the couch between me and Soda, throwing his arms around our shoulders.

"In the mood to party?" he asked grinning "Buck's throwing one hell of a party, at least that's what Curly said"

Soda chuckled shaking his head.

"Me, Pony, Darry and Steve are going to the movie" he said. I already knew they were, they had told me at diner before Darry snapped. I hadn't felt like going, I'd never cared much for movies I liked books better. Pony loved movies, especially if he could watch them alone, but I just didn't get it. In movies everything was given to you, the characters were already made, I liked the fantasy better. I looked over at Darry silently asking him if I could go. I really didn't have to ask him but I wanted to be ok with him.

"I guess it's alright if you go, just be home by 1.30" he said giving Two bit a look.

"Don't worry Darry, she's with me" Two bit said getting up and pulling me to my feet.

"That's what I worry about" Darry added chuckling. I felt myself smile widely as I heard his soft laughter.

We walked all the way to Bucks, which was a couple of blocks away, while talking and joking. As soon as we walked in the doors Two bit was gone, I just smiled shaking my head as I snickered. Typically Two bit, telling Darry he'll look after me and then dump me the first chance he had. He's funny.

I stood at the bar scanning the crowd for familiar faces. I saw some guys from school sitting at a table and I waved to them when they noticed me. They were classmates I had known since I was seven but they weren't really my friends. Steve and Soda knew them better.

I suddenly froze in my place as my eyes fixed on Tim walking down the stairs; his clothes were wrinkled, his shirt hanging loosely over his jeans. My insides turned to ice when I saw a girl hanging on his arm, her arm was sneaking around his waist and he drew her to him and kissed her. All I could see was her hair as it bobbed gently from the kisses. Her hair was red. My heart contracted painfully as I recognised her as that girl from the Dingo, the one who had asked Tim to light her cigarette. I wanted to run or scream or do anything but I couldn't move, my eyes were fixed on Tim's hands as they grasped her hair. I felt crushed, not so much by what he was doing, more from being so goddamned stupid. I had never believed he wouldn't do other girls but seeing it was different. Watching him kiss her was killing me but still I didn't turn my gaze away.

Suddenly Tim saw me over her shoulder and the spell was broken, I ran out of there and into a smaller room, so fast that I never even saw his reaction to seeing me watching him. I sat down at the barstool furthest from the door safely hidden behind a large man in case anyone would be looking for me. The room was dark, in one corner a small bar and on the floor there were some pool tables. Some guys were in the middle of a game, swearing at each other.

I sighed as I recognised Curly with a cue in one hand and a beer in his other cursing loudly at his opponent. I sank down in my seat hoping he wouldn't notice me. I ordered a beer and after I had finished it I ordered another and another and another…

I was quite drunk when I walked up to Curly tapping him on his shoulder. I was swaying and my vision was blurry, but still I knew what I was doing the problem was I just couldn't control it. It had always been like that, when I got too drunk I was kind off trapped inside myself watching myself do all kinds of stupid things not being able to do one thing about it. That was why I tried not to drink that much. Curly turned to me his face grinning as he looked at me. Chuckling he said;

"You're plastered" I couldn't do anything but laugh at that, it was true, I was pissed.

"So?" I said smiling widely at him, grabbing onto his arm as I swayed back and forth uncontrollably. Curly laughed at me putting an arm around my waist as he began to lead me out to the big room.

"Where're your bros´" he asked and I just shook my head and felt my brain wobble inside my skull. We were at the big bar and he led me to a stool and helped me up on it. He placed my hands on the counter for support and smiled at me stroking my arm gently.

"Just wait here, I'll be right back" he said and walked of.

I sat there feeling the stool rocking violently, my head tilted to my chest and I didn't have the energy to raise it. Suddenly there was a blurry man's hand putting a glass in front of me.

"You look like you could use a drink" I heard someone say and when I turned my head up to look next to me there was a guy standing there, a cowboy type of man, blonde with a weathered face. He was smiling as his eyes wandered over my body and I felt sick as he put his arm around my shoulder. I tried to get away from him but as I got of the stool I stumbled on my own feet and fell against his chest. He put his arms around me and held me to him and I started to hit him as hard as I could but he only chuckled, his grip tightening.

"Let her go" I heard a voice behind the man say and I felt his grip on me loosen as he turned around to face the voice. I took a step back from the cowboy and I didn't see what happened in my hazy state of mind but suddenly the cowboy was on his back on the floor. I looked up to see Tim standing there his fists clenched at his sides as he watched the man on the floor. He looked up at me reaching a hand out to me motioning for me to take it and I did. I was still shocked as I walked carefully over the man's legs and stood by Tim's side. His hand clasped mine tightly and I felt him breath raggedly.

"What the fuck's going on?" Curly hissed as he came up to us, he looked at me his eyes worried.

"Are you ok?" he asked and when I nodded he added "didn't I tell you to stay until I came back…" I felt Tim's grip on my hand tighten at that and when I looked up at him I saw him stare cunningly at his younger brother. Curly glared right back at him.

"What the hell is going on here Shepard?" Two bit was rushing over to us and grabbed me by the arm, tearing me form Tim's grip and pulling me to him, throwing a protective arm around me. My head was spinning like crazy and it felt like the floor was moving under me.

"What's your bag man!" Tim snarled at him and Curly stood next to him frowning. Their eyes were shooting daggers at Two bit.

"He was helping her you fucking ditz!" Curly yelled.

Two bit didn't answer them he just dragged me out of there.

**A bit more action in this one! Tim's an ass, he he... Read and review! tack**


	20. Hangover

I stared up at my ceiling trying to lye completely still, my head hurt and I felt nauseated. I had been lying like that for hours since I had woke up, just trying to suppress the sick feeling in my stomach. I had only moved to run to the bathroom a few times to throw up. I hated being hung-over like this, I hardly ever were. This was the worst I had ever felt after drinking. Darry had been coming in to wake me up for school some hours ago but he just smiled and asked if the party had been fun and then he left and told me to stay home from school. He had always been good like that, never forcing us to do anything, he could be hard sometimes about going to school and things like that but he was good when we needed him to be. He knew when to let things be.

I had been going over the events of the night before over and over in my head and I was angry to say the least. I wasn't really angry at Tim. I was angry at myself, for ever thinking that I could mean anything to him, for wanting to mean something to him. I was pissed by the fact that he had been with me during the day and then went straight on to that stupid read head. I wanted to kill her, to wring her neck. But of course it wasn't her fault that she was beautiful and I just couldn't hate her for that however much I wanted to. I wondered how long they had known each other when I thought of the things Tim had said about her that day at the Dingo.

I wondered why he had helped me out with that cowboy, why hadn't he just stayed with the read head and let me work it out myself, not that I could have in my drunken state, but eventually Curly would have come back. And Curly was another story, why was he being so nice to me, I mean he had always been nice but in a flirtier, I-want-to-fuck-you way, not that I thought he meant it like that but that was just the way he were. But not anymore apparently.

I didn't remember all that much from that part of the night, not after I walked up to Curly. But I vaguely remembered talking to him, holding on to his arm for support, his soft laughter and his kind eyes as he looked at me. He was so different from his brother; I mean Curly was hard as nails too but in a kind and gentle way, not like Tim. I felt my heart contract as I thought of Tim, his cold eyes and wicked smile.

After talking to Curly I didn't remember anything until Tim was holding my hand and I was looking down at that cowboy, the feeling of his warm, strong hand in mine making me feel safe through the haze in my head. Then Curly came back and argued with Tim, it was something about me that I knew from the way he had been looking at me and the way Tim's hand squished mine, but I didn't get all of it. Strange however that Curly started to argue with Two bit when he was hollering at Tim, why was he angry with Tim and then on his side again two seconds later.

From the walk home all I remember was throwing up two times while Two bit stood at the side watching me.

I lied in bed hearing my brothers come home from school and work, hearing them walking around talking and laughing, while I felt my hangover subside little by little. When it was around six in the afternoon I felt good enough to get up. I needed some fresh air so I told Darry I was going out for awhile and then I left.

I walked around our neighbourhood for awhile but got bored and started to walk downtown. The houses on our side of town were really rundown, some worse then others. I wasn't giving any thoughts as to where I was going and soon found myself outside the Dingo. I stopped not knowing whether to go in or not, but when I realized I was being watched by Tim who was standing with his gang around some car I moved passed them as in a hurry, pretending I didn't see them. I sat down at the bar feeling someone's eyes boring holes in my back, I thought it was Tim.

"You ok now?" I heard a voice asked me from behind, it was too soft to be Tim's and when I turned my head to look I felt myself smile a little.

"Yeah…" I fingered nervously with my napkin "…look Curly…" he was smiling at me now, a wide smile, just like the ones Tim shows of so rarely "…thanks for helping me out" I looked up at his face, my eyes meeting his.

"No problem" he said putting his hand on mine gently, his hand was warm and rough against mine. "Tim can be a real ass sometimes" he added looking out the window, something in his eyes changing. I was surprised to hear him talk like that, he had always looked up to Tim, I had never heard him say anything about him that wasn't flattering. At least according to them.

"It's not his fault I can't hold my liquor" I said trying to lighten the mood, I didn't want Curly to feel sorry for me, I hated being pitied.

Curly looked at me curiously as I got down from the stool, a strange sinister smirk on his lips and then he reached over and stroke a lock of hair away from my eyes, tucking it behind my ear. He leaned his head closer to mine; his breath was hot against my face.

"You know, it's ok to be sad, I ain't gonna tell him" he whispered. I felt myself flinch slightly. How could he know I was sad, how could Curly Shepard of all people understand me, understand my pride.

I felt tears starting to well up my eyes and I quickly looked down at my shoes as I felt them run down my cheeks, not wanting him to see me cry. I heard Curly sigh and then I felt his arms around me, pulling me close to him. He held me tight for several minutes as I cried against his chest, soaking his black T-shirt. He didn't say a word; he didn't have to it was enough to have his warm arms around me and his strong chest to cry against.

Suddenly I felt Curly tense up and as I looked up I saw Tim standing just inside the entrance looking at us. His jaws were clenched, his eyes looked somehow bigger then usual, like big black pools. I wanted to throw myself in them and drown. Curly kept his arm around my shoulder but I felt his whole body tensing even more as Tim fixed his eyes on him. Tim didn't look mad or even upset and that made me want to throw up. He looked like he didn't care at all except for his clenched jaw line.

I fixed my eyes on the floor until I felt that I was being watched, when I looked up I met Tim's black eyes and I wanted to shoot myself. He was sad. Far beneath all that indifference and coldness I could see I small flicker of something, some emotion. I took that as I sign that he did care at least a little. But I didn't know whether it was me or his brother he cared about.

Just then his gang walked in and one of them throw an arm around his shoulder and said something, Tim tore his eyes away from mine and shrugged his shoulders walking over to a table with his friends. I turned around to face Curly who was staring after his brother, his eyes showing both defiance and worry, he looked pale and tense.

"You ok?" I asked him and I saw him relax slowly, his face gaining its usual colour.

"Sure" he said giving me a mild smile "You want me to walk you home?"

"Thanks" I said nodding and we walked out, his arm still around my shoulder. I felt Tim's eyes on my back as we walked out but I didn't turn around even though I longed to.

**Thanks for all the reviews, I'm sorry it took so long to update, I've had much to do at the university the past few weeks. Hope you like it! Tack**


	21. Talking

Two days later I took a book with me and walked over to the lot to sit in the sunshine and read, it was late afternoon and the worst heat was gone. I was feeling much better then I had when I had gotten home from the Dingo two nights ago. I had been so sad, for myself, for Curly for getting into trouble with his brother and for making him see that his brother who he had looked up to all his life wasn't perfect, and I was even sad for Tim, because of that tiny bit of emotion in his eyes when he had seen me with Curly. But now I felt better, I felt that I could move on and just leave all that had to do with Tim behind me, he didn't mean anything to me. Nothing.

At least that was what I wanted to feel about him, but however much I tried I couldn't stop feeling that fluttering in my stomach whenever I heard his name or thought about him. But I felt better than before and every day that I didn't see him it became easier and easier not to think about him, not to feel anything.

I closed my eyes and let myself relax in the sunshine, leaning my head on my bundled up jacket, it felt good to have the sun caress my face and I let my thoughts wander back and forth between old memories from when I was a kid and events that had taken place just hours before. I carefully avoided thinking about anything that made me sad.

I laid like that until I felt something shadowing me and blocking the sunrays from gracing my face, when I opened my eyes all I could see was a tall, dark figure standing in front of me, but after shadowing my eyes with my hand I could see Tim standing in front of me. His face was blank, but his shoulders were slouching a bit more then usual.

"Darrel said you'd be here" he looked around him and then sat down in the grass, leaning his arms on his knees.

What does he want I thought, I felt my stomach do flip flops and all I could do was stare. With the sun coming from behind him his hair became a reddish black and the skin on his arms were golden brown, glimmering and glittering. He was so beautiful that I felt like I couldn't breathe.

"I just wanted to talk to you…" he said fixing his eyes on me, the look in his eyes was demanding and cold, his lips was in a thin line. I hadn't seen him look that serious ever, he was normally just cold and emotionless, now he was cold but there was something more behind that coldness, he looked like he needed something or maybe wanted something from me. I felt nervous at what he could possibly want to say to me. "…Curly told me you cried" he looked at me, his eyes softer then before, there was something that looked like care in his eyes. I felt pissed, that little son of a bitch had told me he wouldn't tell him and still he went straight to big brother and told him I was a sissy girl who cried over the evil hood who went behind her back. Mark and all the others had been right, all the Shepards were assholes.

I got on my feet and began to walk of when I felt a hand on my arm.

"Wait…" Tim said as he held on to my arm, his hand warm and strong "…just listen…ok?" his voice was irritated and impatient. I wiggled myself away from his grip and stood still waiting for him to continue. He sighed deeply and began.

"Darrel told me to stay away from you as you already know, I told him to go to hell…" he smirked evilly "…but you know he was right…" he sighed again and looked at me, his eyes were bluer than before "…you shouldn't be with me, you should be with someone who will treat you right…" What the fuck do you know about treating anybody right I thought, but then again he never promised me anything least of all to be faithful, he wasn't my boyfriend…

"Look Tim, it was just a fling, it didn't mean anything so you don't have to explain anything to me" he looked at me and he looked almost sad, his face looked so empty and his eyes were so blue. I felt a pang in my heart and I realized I had told him the worst thing I possibly could have told him. Now he would just walk away and never talk to me again, God I was stupid!

"Fine, then I won't" he said his eyes locked on mine and he nodded thoughtfully. His eyes grew angry and he glared at me, his lips forming a wicked smirk.

"But if it was nothing, why the fuck did you cry?" he asked his eyes challenging me with an angry glare. I sighed and decided to go for the truth.

"Whatever I felt doesn't matter since you never promised me anything, I didn't sleep with you to lure you into a relationship if that's what you think!" I was angry too now and the words just kept flowing. "I did it because I wanted to and I was well aware of the consequences, I knew you just wanted sex…" at that his eyes went soft and he looked away from me snorting silently "…I cried because of my feelings not because of yours or perhaps I should say your lack thereof"

"Look Nora…" he said his voice was a hard whisper, the same voice he had used at Angela to get her to leave him alone "...you don't know shit about me" He was really angry now, his eyes were flashing, staring straight through my skull. I felt myself shrink in front of him as he seemed to grow. I took a step backwards but was stopped by a tree. Tim took a step towards me and a hand shot out and gripped at my chin to raise my face to his. My eyes were closed and I felt tears starting to stream down my face slowly. I was scared of him, not that I thought he would hit me but he was intimidating and I was scared of myself, scared of my feelings towards him. He was dangerous and he definitely wasn't for me but still I wanted him, I wanted to hold him and smell him, but I couldn't have him.

I heard him swear under his breath as he stepped closer to me, he wrapped his arms around me and hugged me tightly.

"…so sorry, didn't mean to scare you…" he mumbled against my hair "…sorry about everything…"

My tears were running down my cheeks but I was concentrated on inhaling as much as I could of his scent, cigarettes and leather. I let my arms sneak around his waist and I leaned my head against his chest facing his neck, he was so warm and comfortable.

"You ok Nora?" he asked his voice soft and caring as he ran a hand through my hair.

"Yeah" I answered but I didn't move away I wanted to stay like that forever, just forget everything else and stay with him so close. I felt him take a deep breath and then he took a step away from me and locked his eyes on mine.

"Your eyes are so blue" I whispered not sure whether or not I had said it out loud, I was amazed by how much they shifted. He just shrugged.

"Want a smoke?" he asked and offered me a lighted cigarette. I took it.

He started to walk and I just followed him, we walked to my house in silence side by side. When we reached my gate we stopped and looked at each other. His eyes were still blue but dark, like velvet, shifting in black. His face was blank and he took a fast step towards me and kissed my lips softly then he turned around and walked of, not saying a word. I just stood there for awhile still feeling his soft lips on mine, wondering why he had done that.

**Sorry for the long wait! I'm going to update this more often from now on, I promise! Anyway please review! Tack**


	22. Talking and more

I was standing by my locker at school when I saw Angela on the other side of the hallway chatting with her gang of friends or what you should call them, she probably controlled them as much as her brother controlled his gang. She was smiling from ear to ear and laughed too loud. And then suddenly her smile turned to a frown and her glimmering eyes became icy, she followed someone who walked by with her icy eyes and I thought, wow she really doesn't like that person. And then I realized it was Pony who walked by.

Guess she got sick of waiting for him to make a move, like he ever would have. He's just too shy around girl and he probably didn't like her anyways, maybe he didn't even realize that her inviting him to a party meant something. He could be a little slow when it came to girls, but I guess he will grow out of it soon enough. To bad for Angela I thought as I packed my bag and left school.

* * *

I stood with my fist clenched to knock on the door but I was so nervous, I wasn't sure I wanted to knock but then my hand just reach up and did it and I was left to hope that nobody was home. I drew a sharp breath and was just about to turn around and walk away when the door swung open. I looked up and met the black eyes of Mrs Shepard. She smiled softly at me and motioned for me to come in. I stood in their hall fidgeting, not knowing where to look or what to do.

"Yes dear?" she said in perfect English. I was confused, wasn't she Puerto Rican, and didn't she speak Spanish last time I was here. Why did she if she could speak English?

"Ehh…is Tim home?" I managed to get out while I fixed my eyes on the worn out carpet on the floor.

"He's in his room, you go on up dear" she said and began to walk towards the kitchen.

That was strange I thought as I walked up the stairs, her English was so perfect it was almost as if it was english English. And why was she so nice, she hadn't been very nice to her son that time, if it was her who had hit him, but maybe it wasn't. But there must have been a reason why Tim wouldn't speak with her before he drove me to school.

His door was a bit open and I approached it carefully. As I scanned the room from outside the door I saw Tim laying on the bed reading a book and smoking, the record player was playing a Rolling Stones album. I knocked on his door and he looked over the edges of the book at me and smiled. His eyes showed confusion and surprise, but he still looked happy. He tossed the book away, without marking the page he had been reading I noticed and sat up in bed, leaning against the wall, the cigarette still between his lips.

"What gives me the pleasure of this visit?" he said smirking, I stood in the doorway not knowing what to do with myself.

"Don't just stand there…" he said putting out his cigarette in the ashtray "…come, sit down" he patted the bed beside him and I walked over and sat down. He sat a couple of inches away from me and he looked at me questiongly. I suddenly couldn't remember what I had wanted to say to him so I absentmindedly picked the book up to see what it was, East of Eden. It looked well-read and I looked to see if it had any library stamps on it, but it didn't. All the while Tim had his eyes on me, searching.

"What're you doing?" he asked.

"Ehh…just looking" I said and looked up to meet his eyes, they were blue again, dark blue like a stormy ocean.

"You came here to look at a book?" he asked teasing me. Fine I thought here goes nothing.

"No, actually I came to talk" I kept looking at him and I saw him draw a deep breath and rub his eyes with his hands. He looked tired. But I didn't care; I just wanted to get this over with.

"I just wanted to tell you that you were never nothing to me, I don't go home with just any guy…" He smirked at that and then he fixed his eyes on his hands "…you're not any guy Tim, I really like you"

I was glad I had said it but his silence was pressing and I felt nervous, he just kept staring at his hands not saying a word not even giving me any hint whether he had listened or not. I couldn't take it anymore and I got of off the bed and walked over to the door to walk home and try to repair my wounded pride. But I didn't get very far cause Tim walked up to me from behind and threw his arms around me, he turned me around so I was facing his chest and then he leaned down and kissed me, his lips were so soft and warm and his tongue flicked gently over my bottom lip. Then he drew away and burrowed his head in my neck and I heard him whisper.

"You're not nothing either" I felt my heart beat faster and more loudly in my chest and I let my hands wander up his arms to his neck where they tangled in his thick hair. I felt him kiss my neck, his hands on my hips moving me closer to him. While he was kissing and nibbling at my neck he backed me over to the bed and when I fell down I dragged him along with me. He was so warm on me almost burning, it made me giggle and he immediately shifted to give me more space mumbling a quick;

"Sorry"

I pulled him close again and when he rolled over on his back I got on top of him, straddling him. I leaned down and kissed him, more forcefully then he had kissed me, signalling to him that it was ok to be a bit rough. He got the picture and his hands started to wander over my body, massaging my breasts while I rubbed against him.

* * *

Afterwards he was laying on his back with his eyes closed; he wasn't sleeping because he was still breathing normally. I was resting on my elbow looking at him. His eyelashes were so long, black and curved, I wished I had eyelashes like that. I let my hand trail down his forehead down his straight nose to his perfect lips that where now red and swollen. From his chin I moved my fingers up his left cheek, trailing the scar. He didn't flinch or anything and I felt my heart swell at the thought that he trusted me.

"Wanna go to a party tonight?" he suddenly asked cracking an eye open to look at me, his eyes were black again and it was almost impossible to tell that they in fact were blue.

"I'll pick you up at eight, ok?" he smiled at me, showing his teeth and I realized he actually had a tiny dimple in his right cheek. I smiled back at him.

"Sure, tonight's the school dance but sure…" he looked at me his eye searching mine probably to see if I really meant it which I did. I wasn't interested in the school dance but I had told Pony I might go. Tim nodded to him self apparently happy with what he had seen in my eyes. It wasn't fair that he could see my emotions in my eyes and I couldn't see shit in his.

"Eight then" he said to confirm it and I nodded leaning down to kiss him.

**Cute ain't it? Hope you like it! **


	23. Curly and Mandy

Tim was holding my hand firmly as we walked into the house, the music was loud and so was the talking and singing from all the people that were crowded together in the small house. Tim pulled me with him through the crowd and stopped in front of a table where some guys were playing poker. I recognized three of them from his gang but I didn't know their names and then there was Curly. They all turned around to greet Tim with wide smiles and eyes that were glittering in the dim light. One of them stood up and walked up to us giving Tim an affectional pat on his shoulder.

"What took you so long man?" he asked grinning broadly. Tim just shrugged and smiled one of his real smiles. I looked at him in awe, he looked happy. And I realized that his friends really liked him they didn't just respect him and fear him as I had thought they would, they really cared about him and he really liked them too.

"Nora, this is Shane" Tim said and squeezed my hand gently and nodded towards the guy in front of me. Shane was about my height but much broader, he had a stockier built then Tim but he looked nice, his smile was genuine and his green eyes dancing.

"So this is Nora…" he said and smirked at Tim then he looked at me, curious and kind "…nice to meet you, how're your brothers doing?" I smiled back at him and suddenly remembered seeing him talk to Soda one time at the DX.

"They're ok I guess" I answered and felt Tim's hand tense slightly at the talk of my brothers. His eyes were concentrated on the poker game so I figured he didn't even realize that he was showing his emotions so clearly and I ran my thumb up and down his hand softly to ease the tension away. Shane walked over to Tim's other side and stood with him watching the game occasionally leaning in to say something.

I looked over at Curly who nodded at me and smiled. I didn't respond I just kept glaring at him; I was still pissed at him for telling Tim when he had promised me he wouldn't. I didn't care so much about him telling Tim I had cried it was just that he had lied to me, and now I couldn't trust him. Curly got up and excused himself, he gave his brother a quick nod and a smile and then he walked over to me taking my arm in his and dragging me away before I could even protest. He pulled me out into the small garden and then he stopped still holding his hand firmly around my arm.

"What the fuck is your bag Nora?" he spat at me, his eyes more hurt then angry, I glared at him and didn't respond.

"Why are you being a bitch!"

"I'm being a bitch ? " I screamed at him "You're the one who can't keep secrets, always has to tell big brother everything don't you?" I mocked him "Scared he'll hurt you otherwise?" I smirked at him and to my surprise he started laughing, he let go of my arm and was almost shaking with laughter.

"You think I told him?" he chuckled "He's got eyes in his head you know" he laughed some more while I just looked at him confused.

"He already knew, he just asked me why, and I didn't tell him, I just confirmed that you did cry" he said now serious as he locked his eyes on mine. I felt all the pieces fall together in my head, he hadn't lied to me, Tim had already known and why wouldn't he have seen it, my eyes were still bright red and puffy when Curly had walked me home so of course he would have been blind if he didn't see that.

"Ohh" I said and Curly threw and arm over my shoulder and we began to walk back inside.

When we came back to the poker table Tim was standing talking to a brown haired girl, she leaned in close to him and told him something and he chuckled slightly. I felt my insides turn to ice and I froze waiting for the inevitable, waiting for him to kiss her, but he didn't. Instead he looked around the room and when he saw Curly he hauled him over to him by the front of his shirt and asked him something, Curly answered and Tim let him go while scanning the room with a cold expression. The girl said something to him and he responded without looking at her. When he saw me standing by the door his face lit up and he smiled, then he leaned down to say something to the girl in front of him and she smiled and nodded and he walked over to me. When he reached me he just stood silently in front of me and looked at me hesitantly, I was still kind of shocked and didn't know what to make of the situation.

"What's wrong?" he asked his eyes showing something close to worry "Did Curly say something, I swear I'll…"

"Who's that girl?" the question was out of my mouth before I even realized it and Tim just let out a sigh of relief. My eyes were on the girl whose eyes were flicking from me and Tim to the floor nervously. Tim put an arm around me and walked up to her. She was really pretty and I felt sick, what was he playing at, why had he taken me to talk to some girl he was probably flirting with.

"Nora, this is Mandy" Tim said and smiled at the Mandy girl who put her hand out for me to shake, I took it hesitantly feeling like I was walking into a trap. "She's an old friend of mine" he added and smirked and Mandy locked her eyes with him and smirked back and when he winked at her she blushed and hit him softly on his arm. I felt out of place, like I had walked in on a private moment where I really shouldn't be. Plus I felt sick with jealousy. I wanted to strangle her for even looking at Tim and kill her for having known him longer then me.

"We went to school together" she said and smiled at me "Even dated for a year" I felt something cold growing in my stomach "But that was ages ago now we're just friends" she said all this while looking and smiling at Tim who was still holding his arm around me possessively. I looked up at his face and saw him smiling at Mandy, warmly. He rarely smiled at me like that, that openly and warmly, with me he always hid his emotions making me think he didn't feel anything. He turned to look at me suddenly and I saw the same happiness in his eyes that I had seen when he greeted his friends earlier. He was so beautiful when he looked happy, all his features were softer, his eyes were like glittering blue pools.

"He helps me with Allie sometimes" Mandy said and smiled at me, she looked proud. I wondered who Allie was and as if he was reading my mind Tim said;

"Allie's her daughter" I was in awe, she didn't look much older then me and she had a daughter. Then I suddenly became worried, who was the girls father? Well at least he didn't say our daughter I thought.

Mandy was taking a small purse out of her jeans pocket and from it she took a small picture and gave it to me. I looked at the photo and a small black haired girl of about two looked at me with big brown eyes, the same eyes as her mother had. But the black hair where did that come from?

"She's beautiful" I said and passed the picture over to her again, she looked at it fondly and then put it back in her purse.

"Yes" she said "I was only sixteen when she was born" she sighed and then she locked eyes with Tim who was now holding my hand "But Tim helped me so it has just been fun" she smiled. I felt myself tense up; Tim was the kid's father then? He must have felt my body tense cause he let go of me and mumbled;

"Well the father was an asshole so someone had to do it"

I drew a relieved breath and tried to ease up my tense body, he wasn't the girl's dad after all. Good. But still I wondered what I would have done if he was? Couldn't I still be with him then? I didn't know. I had a hard time imagine Tim taking care of a toddler; it was hard to think of him as the caring, parenting kind. I suddenly thought of Darry, he was like that, a natural parent who always cared and tried his best. I had always thought of Tim as more the type to abandon the girl when she got pregnant. But perhaps that was unfair, he wasn't like that apparently. He looked after a girl who wasn't his girlfriend and her baby that wasn't his after all. I suddenly felt so proud of him; he was so kind and beautiful, so strong and proud. All thoughts and frights about him being unfaithful were out the window and I sneaked my arm around his waist and leaned against his arm while he continued talking to Mandy. I decided that I liked her.

**Sorry it took so long to update, hope you like it, I know the story is a bit slow at the moment but there will be more action soon, I promise! Review please! Tack**


	24. Revelations

Some days later I sat in the kitchen when Two bit and Steve burst through the door and slammed it shut loudly.

"Hi guys" I said and looked down at my homework again.

"Hi Nora" They said slowly and with strange voices, I immediately froze, something was wrong and they were here to tell me. What was it? Ponyboy was in his room taking a nap, but Darry and Soda were both at work, could something have happened to them? I kept my eyes on the table when they both sat down opposite from me.

"Nora, Steve has to tell you something…" Two bit said and received a swift punch on the shoulder from Steve; he continued "…I told him it wasn't his business…but…" Steve hissed something that sounded like asshole to him and punched him again. And then he turned to me and I met his eyes and once again I froze, in his eyes I saw sympathy and compassion. Steve felt sorry for me and that made me feel like crap. What was he going to tell me anyway? It couldn't be about my brothers cause then he would've been upset to.

"I…" he began and drew a sharp breath "…I was at Bucks yesterday and Shepard was there and I knew you were kind of dating so…"

"So what?" I almost screamed wanting him to say it and get it over with. I'd already figured out what he wanted to tell me, Tim had been with some girl again.

"So I talked to him for a bit and then the fuzz showed up just like that, out of nowhere…" Steve was gesturing like crazy and I felt more confused then ever "…they arrested Tim"

I felt myself draw a breath of relief, Tim being arrested wasn't that bad, he'd be out in a day or two; his gang would bail him out. Steve's eyes were still focused on me and Two bit who had been fiddling with his knife suddenly looked up and locked his eyes on mine.

"They arrested him for assaulting two officers the day before, apparently they were pretty busted up, one of them's still in the hospital" Two bit said slowly as if scared of my reaction. I felt my feet freeze and the cold slowly creep up body. Shit was all I could think.

"How long?" I asked holding my breath.

Steve and Two bit looked at each other and then back at me.

"At least a year" Steve said.

I went from freezing to gasping for air as reality hit me. I wouldn't see Tim in a year, I wouldn't touch him or talk to him, I felt a tear slowly find it'd way down my cheek. Damn you Tim! He always had to screw things up. He had been right when he told me he was an asshole. A leaving asshole, always going away, either with another girl or to jail. Shit Tim, why did you do it?

I got of off the chair and ran to my room, tears falling freely blurring my vision.

A week later I had managed to make arrangements to visit Tim in jail with the help of Darry who was driving me there. As I sat in the visitor room waiting for Tim to arrive I felt cold and emotionless, I didn't even know what I was going to say to him. I couldn't break down and cry, asking him why he had done it and why he had left me. I mean he did warn me by telling me he was an asshole and he said himself he didn't think I should see him but still, why couldn't he have changed for me. Couldn't he have slowed down and got a job, but maybe then he wouldn't have been Tim Shepard and I wouldn't have loved him like I did.

I also realized I had to be strong for Tim to, because he had probably already gotten too much shit from his parents and sister. Curly would only be proud of him.

Suddenly the door on the other side of the room opened and I saw Tim walk in his hands in handcuffs, led by a guard by the arm and pushed roughly down in the seat opposite from mine. His pants and shirt was the same greyish blue colour, his hair was cut short only about a centimetre left. He seemed younger with his hair like that, his forehead and face more visible, his blackish eyes bigger and even colder then usual. He scanned the room like a trapped eagle looked for an exit and then his eyes looked on mine. The guard was standing at the door staring blindly into space.

Tim locked his eyes on mine and smirked at me. I could barely return his stare without breaking down. He was so beautiful in all his depressingly hard glory.

"Hi there" he said, his voice both hard and soft.

"Hi" I wanted desperately to touch him, to warm him up and melt away some of the ice in his eyes.

"How'd you get here?" he asked a curios glint in his eyes.

"Darry drove me, he's waiting outside" I wanted to run my hand through his soft hair, I wondered how it felt now that it was short, I didn't want to say anything about it to him, he was probably pissed about having it cut.

"Really?" he said raising an eyebrow having a hard time believing Darry would help me to meet him. I just nodded quietly.

"Two minutes left Shepard" he guard said in a crisp cold voice still staring at nothing. Tim nodded quietly his eyes still on me; he wasn't smirking anymore, now he was just looking at me like he had never met me before, as if he was trying to figure me out. I felt my heart pounding in my chest as his eyes travelled over me, I felt like I wanted to say something to him, to tell him how much I cared but I couldn't find the word and somehow I thought that he knew anyway.

When the guard walked over to him he stood up readily but he didn't just leave, he leaned over the table towards me and whispered;

"I'm sorry" I didn't have time to respond because the guard was now leading him towards the exit, at the door Tim turned his head at me and said in a hard emotionless voice;

"I don't want you to come here again" My trout tightened and tears welled up my eyes as the door slammed behind them. All the worry and the hurt I had felt for the last week ran down my cheeks as I sat there crying.


	25. What happened

**Five years later**

I looked down at the beautiful little creature in my arms. He was asleep, breathing softly trough his small nose, those bright blue eyes closed. I felt my heart swell as I watched him, my perfect baby, my son. I closed my eyes and tried to relax, I was exhausted, I felt as if someone had run me over.

Suddenly I heard a small noise from the doorway and then a soft knock, when I opened my eyes all the air in my lungs swished out of me in one exhale. He was smiling at me in the same way he had done five years ago, that cunning smirk on his face. He looked just like he always had, not a day older and I felt my hand unconsciously go up to my hair to try to straighten it out.

"Long time no sea" he said and took a few steps into the room, he looked me over his eyes fixing on the baby in my arms, slowly a smile crept up his mouth, a genuine smile and as his eyes locked on mine I drew a sharp breath wondering if I was dreaming. I couldn't seem to talk so I just looked at him, recognizing every little line of his face, every scar.

"Heard you were here" he said walking towards me, only stopping a foot away leaning down to look at my baby. His face grew hard and I saw a nerve twitch in his cheek, but when he looked up at me he smiled faintly again.

"Ran into Darrel outside" he added. I cleared my throat and asked him;

"What're you doing at the hospital?" I heard my voice sounding a bit worried and hoped he didn't notice. He was concentrating on watching the baby, carefully reaching out a finger to the baby's hand, he immediately grabbed it.

"Curly needed stitches" he said and chuckled slightly at the strength of the baby.

I was totally in awe at this; here was Tim Shepard who I hadn't seen in five years, Tim Shepard the worst hood in Tulsa admiring my son, smiling. It struck me just as hard as it had all those years ago, he was perfect, the most beautiful man I had ever seen, those blue eyes, that thick wavy black hair, his high cheekbones and his powerful chin.

I felt some of those emotions I had felt last time I saw him wash over me again, he had apologised and then he had told me he didn't want to see me anymore. At that time I broke down about it, I felt like he didn't really care for me, I hated the pitiful looks I would get from my brothers and our friends and even from Angela and Curly, they thought that I was just a fling too.

But now looking back on it I couldn't feel that bitter loneliness I had felt for years after that, I could see clearly now why he didn't want to see me and it was the same reason why he was smiling looking at my son, he wanted me to be happy and he couldn't have given me this, he couldn't have given me my son.

"Darling I just talked to the nurse…" my husband had walked in and when he saw Tim standing so close to me and the baby he paused looking at me confused and a bit curious, his brown hair fell down his forehead and my hand itched to reach out and fix it.

Tim just straightened up and tried to get his finger away from the baby's hand but he couldn't so he stood there as far away from us both as he could the baby still holding on to his finger manically. His face was cold and hard again, his jaws flexed and his eyes cunning.

"Oh, I'm sorry, where are my manners" my husband took a hesitant step towards Tim and reached out his hand "I'm Peter Nora's husband"

Tim took his hand and shook it firmly "Tim Shepard" he said shortly. Peter nodded thoughtfully and excused himself saying that we must have a lot to catch up on. Tim looked at me oddly but stood silently as Peter left. I smiled at his back as he walked out, that was one of the reasons I loved him, he was always so understanding.

"It's beautiful" Tim said in a soft voice as he stroke my son's tousled brown hair.

"Lucas" I said and Tim looked up at me confused "His name is Lucas" I added smiling at Tim who just looked at me, his eyes showing both disbelief and happiness.

I sat up in bed and reached the boy out to him and he took him holding him safely against his chest, his eyes were fixed on the boy and I felt a tear trickle down my cheek. Tim Shepard was holding my baby as if he had never done anything else in his life then taking care of infants.

I couldn't help but wondered if it would have been his son I would have given birth to if I had went to see him again I prison. But then it wouldn't have been Lucas who was my son it would have been some other kid and I loved Lucas and I loved Peter.

As I looked at Tim where he was standing in his worn out jeans and his black tight t-shirt and old boots, his hair greased back, his scar standing out as a white line against his tanned skin, I knew that I still loved him, I would always love him but he wasn't for me and if I had been honest with myself when I was seventeen I would have known that back then too.

**So this is the end, it may seem a bit sudden and short but this is the end I had thought out when I started to write this it was just getting them together so I could break them up that was the hard part and that needed all the space, anyway hope you're not to disappointed with the end! Please review! **


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